Here comes the sun!! Duck and Cover!!

When I was a kid my Mom used to be on my case all the time about lying out in the sun trying to get a tan. I was so hell-bent on achieving that golden bronze! Never mind the fact that I'm so pale that I'm practically reflective!

So I'd be out there, slathered in oil, boiling away, achieving … a nice lobster red! Definitely NOT that attractive golden bronze I was aiming for!!  

Now that I’m older, I go to the dermatologist regularly, as everyone should, and my doctor is actually shocked that I haven't had any skin cancer pop up ... that is, not yet! I definitely have major damage.  And if I were to step into one of UV-light photo booth things they set up at beaches to show people how dangerous sun exposure is, I’d probably break the camera!  Plus, my Dad (who has a similar skin tone to me) has had Melanoma, Basal Cell and Squamous Cell, or a combo of them all at various times. One day I may end up needing some part of me sliced off. Well, let’s be honest … not “maybe” ... more like “most probably”.

So now I avoid the sun like the plague! Yeah, yeah, I know, a little too little, a little too late.  But, how about that other quote … better late than never!  I wear sunscreen with at least 70 SPF every day, rain or shine! If I know I’m going to be outside for any length of time, I’ve got my sunglasses, sunblock hat, walk on the shady side of the street and I NEVER try to get tan anymore! I'm basically living the life of a vampire, without all that messy biting and blood sucking, or having to sleep in a coffin.

I have tried those “tan in a bottle” products that are so conveniently placed next to the sunscreens at the drug store.  But let’s be real … they suck!  You don’t look tan, you look streaked, and this strange orange-brown color.  I’ve also done the “professional” spray tan.  (I put “professional” in brackets, because it’s usually some high school kid spraying you!  I mean, they don’t exactly go to grad school to learn how to work the airbrush!)  So, while those may look better than smearing the stuff from the drug store on by yourself and missing spots, they still end up flaking off in a strange way after a few days.  Your clothing and bed sheets end up looking more tan than you ever did.  Not to mention having to stand there naked in front of some stranger, while she sprays me with a cold mist that smells … well, not pleasant! So now ... I’m all about the pale!

I do wish I had listened to my Mom when I was young, though. (don’t tell her I said that!  Mom, if you read this, skip this paragraph!) But what kid ever listens to their parent? I never really achieved that golden bronze. And I had to deal with painful burnt skin, and that oh-so-attractive peeling stage way too many times. If I had listened to my Mom, I wouldn’t have such damaged skin, or as many “fine lines and wrinkles” that no facial cream can take away, no matter what they claim.

So now I go get my skin checked every 6 months. I religiously wear my sunblock, sunglasses, hat, and I keep slathering myself ... in anti-wrinkle creams!

Happy Birthday! You’re officially OLD!!

Last year for my birthday my Mom got me a present, even though I told her to just make a donation to a charity.  She did make the donation, but she also bought me a “little something” extra.  A year’s subscription to AARP!

Um, thanks?!?

As early as a few months before I turned 50, my Mom started telling me that I should join AARP.  She’d mention it every so often.  She would try “selling” the idea to me, telling me that I’d get the magazines, which have a lot of great articles, discounts to so many different places, and that I could even save on car insurance or cell phones.  She even mailed me some articles that she clipped from the magazine to show me just how helpful being a member would be, which was kinda cool, because nowadays with everything being electronic, my actual physical mailbox usually just has flyers from the new local Chinese takeout restaurant.

But, as much as I love the idea of getting 15% off at Denny’s or a free 12 oz. coffee at Burger King (conditions apply), the idea that I was old enough to join an organization meant for … well  … old people was more than I was ready for!

But, like it or not, as of my last birthday, I am now an official, card-bearing member of …. *whispered* AARP!  The organization for … well, old people!!

But, I’m not old!  In my mind I still feel like I’m just out of college!  I do so many things that someone that’s old won’t do!  And when I was a kid, a fifty year old person was SOOOOO much older than I am now!  (I know, that doesn’t really make sense, but just go with it.) 

So, for several months I rebelled. The magazines and bulletins would arrive, and get put in a pile in the corner of my living room.  I didn’t throw them out because, well, my Mom got them for me for my birthday.  And I love my Mom!  I can’t just willy-nilly toss something that she gave to me. But to bring myself to read something meant for … well … I think you see where I’m going with this.

Until, that is, this one day when I had finished a book I had been reading and didn’t really want to start a new one just yet. (You know how it is when you read a REALLY good book, and you want to savor the story for a little longer before moving on.)  But, what was I going to do on the subway ride to work?  I needed SOMETHING to make it through that long ride and not have to struggle with avoiding looking at anyone!  So, on the way out the door, I grabbed one of the bulletins.

Yeah, it’s filled with ads for those buttons you press when you’ve “fallen and can’t get up”, life insurance … with no medical exam required (woot woot), cell phone plans that come with a free FLIP PHONE (hahahaha!!!), and electric chairs that get you up the stairs. (That last one might actually be nice after a long day at work!) 

But the bulletins and magazines are also filled with a lot of great articles. I’ve started to read the pile that I had been stocking, and have actually enjoyed what I’ve been reading.  I’m learning how to organize my closets, what I should be doing to protect myself from identity loss, cool places to visit around the world.  And, I’m seriously considering one of those walk-in tubs!

That’s not to say that if I’m reading one of the bulletins or magazine on the subway that I don’t double check to make sure I’ve got the magazine open to at least the 2^nd page so that BIG RED  AARP on the cover doesn’t show to my fellow straphangers.  And I’m still secretly hoping that if someone by chance does notice what I’m reading, that they will lean over and say “You’re not old enough to be reading AARP!”  But since everyone is making sure they aren’t looking at anyone else, that hasn’t happened yet. 

So, for now, I’ll accept that I’m old enough to belong to an organization for, well … people who are at least my age, and keep laughing at the idea of a flip phone!!  I mean, seriously?!?