Nice guys don’t always finish last!!

I was once told “You’re too nice!” by a coworker. And it was not meant as a compliment!  What was I being “too nice” about, you ask? I’d gotten a voicemail message meant for someone else. I’m not even sure if the caller had reached the correct company. But she needed to confirm a sales order. So I called her back to let her know that she hadn’t reached “Jacqueline”. The call back took all of 2 minutes of my time, didn’t require much effort and helped the woman out. I still don’t get how that’s being “too nice”? But my co-worker said that she would have just deleted the voicemail. She wouldn’t be “so nice”.  I really don’t think that particular scenario showed me to be too nice. It showed that my coworker was, plain and simple, a mean person!

I do try to be nice as much as I can. (yes, there are times I’m in a grumpy mood, or when I can get annoyed with other people) But overall, I do try to treat people nicely. I just think it’s the right thing to do.  When I walk up to a salesperson or a cashier or someone working at a store where I’m shopping, I always say hello, good morning or ask how they are doing. Why? Because it’s nice to acknowledge that they are more than just someone there to “serve” me.  I do get thrown off a bit when the reaction is somewhat hostile, with a stone-face or that look that say “Why the hell are you trying to be nice to me?” But usually, the result is a smile back, some pleasantries, and I may even get better service.  Or, at the very least, I get to feel good for having treated another human being with respect and kindness.  Even to those who don’t respond in a positive way.  Maybe they’re having a hard day and I hopefully made it a tiny bit nicer (or at least no worse).

I also really try my hardest to not walk around with “Resting Bitch-Face”. I’m amazed as I people-watch while I’m out and about, just how many people out there have RBF.  At least in NYC, I’ve noticed that. We’ve all heard that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, so smiling should be easier. But even if that is just an old wives tale, I’d much prefer the smile creases around my eyes than the two frown lines between them!

The other day as I was walking to work, a gentleman walked out of the local coffee shop. He hadn’t held the door open for the young lady carrying a tray filled with coffees who was exiting behind him. As soon as he realized what he had done (or actually, not done) he quickly turned and went back to hold the door, apologizing profusely, saying that his Mother didn’t raise him to be the type of man who doesn’t hold doors for others. He was so upset with himself.  A block later, as we waited next to each other for the light to change so we could cross the street, I could tell he was still disappointed in himself for not acting like his mother had raised him to act.

It made me wonder, what mother DOES raise their child to be rude and inconsiderate? Really, are there any Moms out there that would take pride in raising a self-absorbed, chip on their shoulders, rude person? And yet, there are so many people in the world walking around with such negative attitudes toward each other, itching for an argument, or getting offended by every little thing.

We’re not born to be nice or to be mean.  It’s not in our DNA.  Being nice or being mean … they are each a choice we get to make.  For me personally, the RIGHT choice is to try to be nice! Even if others may think I’ll finish last!