Sleep like a baby!

We’ve either heard or said that line in one form or another at some point in our lives.  “I slept like a baby last night.”  “After all this fresh air, I’m gonna sleep like a baby!”  “Don’t wake him, he’s sleeping like a baby!” But if you really think about it, that line is completely wrong!  Babies don’t sleep well. They are up every couple of hours to either eat, pee or poop!  Have you ever heard of a baby getting eight straight hours of sleep without waking?  So, sleeping like a baby should mean that you aren’t getting a good night’s sleep.

Unfortunately, as I get older I actually do sleep like a baby!  No, I don’t wake up every 2 hours to have a bottle of formula.  But I do get up to use the restroom at least once during the night!  I’ve even try to not have any liquids past a certain point in the evening, but I still get up!  And I end up feeling dehydrated by morning.  

I’ve tried to ignore the "need", and sleep (or go back to sleep) through it.  But it only works for a short time.  And if it does work and I do sleep through it, I end up waking up about an hour before I actually need to get up.  Going back to sleep at that point is hard, if not impossible. Plus, if I do manage to fall back to sleep, I end up waking up even more tired at the alarm.

I also don’t sleep as soundly as I’m getting older.  Babies actually can do this. They can sleep through all sorts of noises.  Not me!  Someone slams a door down the hall, I’m up.  A car alarm goes off outside, Hello middle of the night!  The woman upstairs decides to have a romantic evening … well, that’s the worst!  I mean, who wants to be woken by that type noise without it being you who is getting the benefits?!  It actually got so bad with her “noises” that the Board of the Cooperative I live in forced her to get wall-to-wall carpeting.  It helps … a little.  What helps more is when she doesn’t have a boyfriend!

I’ve tried earplugs.  They help, but not enough.  If the noises are loud enough, they get through.  And it's a strange feeling to sleep with them.

I’ve tried the sound machines.  They actually only keep me awake. (see above re: not being able to sleep through noises)  And the ones that sound like ocean waves or babbling brooks … well, we’re back to the whole needing to use the restroom issue!

I know from my parents telling me, that this “waking up at night” thing only gets worse the older we get.  And while I don’t feel (or act) my current age most of the time, it seems that I have no power to stop this part of getting older.  I guess I can’t complain, since I’ve managed to keep myself from “getting older” in most other ways.

So I think people should stop saying that they slept like a baby.  I think people should actually say “I slept like a teenager last night!”  Now, THEY know how to sleep!!