Social Anxiety

I went to a party last night, run through a Meetup group.  It was an absolutely fantastic party!  A ton of people attended, and everyone was talking and laughing and having a great time!  I had a blast!  Saw a bunch of friends, and made some new ones!  And the party was amazing for another reason.  More awe inspiring than any other party I’ve ever attended!  Because this party was run by a Meetup group for people with social anxiety and shyness!

I personally am extremely lucky and do not have to deal with social anxiety to a great extent.  I can feel comfortable talking to people, even to those I don’t know … most of the time.  So you may wonder why I’m in this Meetup group to begin with.  Well, the organizers and the members are absolutely fantastic people, who are warm and genuine.  People who are some of my closest friends.  Plus, they have the most amazing events!  It’s got to be one of the best Meetup groups on Meetup.com!  And this endorsement is coming from me, as someone who runs her own Meetup group (which is pretty awesome too).

Now, I said I don’t have to deal with social anxiety to any great extent.  But does that mean I don’t have social anxiety at all?  No, it doesn’t.  I believe that everyone has social anxiety, but some just have more of it than others.  Every one of us can remember a time where we were going to have to go somewhere or meet with some people, and we were at least a little bit nervous about it.  We were afraid that we wouldn’t be accepted or that we may make ourselves look foolish.  We may have had to do a presentation for work or some other reason and were scared of getting up there, and our palms started to sweat or we got a little shaky.  Even that little bit is social anxiety. 

But for those who really have to deal with SA, it is a million times more frightening!  It can feel like they can’t get a breath in.  Like their heart is going to explode in their chests.  It can be paralyzing.

I did a little research, and I found that there are quite a number of famous people who you’d never guess had SA.  People like Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, Barbra Streisand, John Steinbeck.  Even Abraham Lincoln suffered from severe anxiety!  The list goes on and on!  But, look at all that these people accomplished!!

I was looking around that party last night, and I was amazed!  Not only with how all these individuals had pushed their own limits, and challenged themselves to do something that can feel like they are actually going to die.  But that everyone was so accepting of all the others there.  And when one person would see someone walking around with that “deer in the headlights” look of pure fear, so afraid that they might have bolted for the door at any second, someone would go over, say hello, and bring them into a conversation!  It was not only a party, but a giant therapy session!

Like I said earlier, I believe that every one of us suffers from SA.  It’s just the extent of it that varies for each individual.  I believe that it is something that can be worked on, but will never fully go away.  Because if someone doesn’t go out and challenge themselves on a continual basis to not let SA take over their lives, it will slowly (or not so slowly) creep back in to be all-consuming.  But with work (yes, it’s work) and a great support network, like the group I am so glad I joined, people with severe SA can feel more comfortable with themselves and with others and go out and enjoy their lives!  They can realize that they are valued, and that they have so much to offer to others as well!

I just wish that more people who are lucky enough to not suffer from severe SA were able to interact with those who do in an environment like this Meetup group.  Because I think that sometimes we put unfair labels on those who suffer from SA.  They may be considered rude or snobby by those who don’t know that SA is in play here.  That it’s like climbing Everest for them to open up and even smile, when inside they feel that paralyzing pressure of anxiety.  So next time, before you judge, remember that you have no clue what is going on in that person’s head, heart and life.  Be kind to yourself, and be kind to others!!