This Cave Man Culture Must Stop!

Let me begin by saying that I know that my blog is usually one that is intended to be lighthearted and fun to read. The posts are simple observations about things that happen in my life that I can chuckle about. I am well aware that this post is a huge divergence from that norm, and yet, I am not going to be apologetic about that at all. This is definitely an observation of mine, although it is far from simple.  And this observance is much more important to discuss!

The recent revelation of an audio/video recording of Donald Trump and Billy Bush discussing women in vile sexual terms has set the news on fire.  It is the top discussion around the news desks, the work desks, Facebook, and yes, I’m sure, even in the locker room.

I was disgusted when I listened to that recording.  I was thrilled that it was discussed at the second debate, since in the past I have felt that the media has not called Donald Trump to task on the things he has said that are … well, just wrong!  I was smiling when I read that Billy Bush was suspended from the Today Show, although I don’t understand why they are just suspending him “pending a review”.  What’s to review? It’s on audio/video!

I was happy to learn that more Republican leaders and some supporters have denounced Trump after this recording became public.  Although I was extremely upset and depressed to learn that the majority his supporters are simply shrugging it off, saying that it was “only talk”.

In the days after the release of the audio I was walking around with a nagging feeling that I just couldn’t put my finger on.  I kept thinking that the statements that Donald Trump made, with Billy Bush’s encouragement, were probably not “just locker room talk”.  I am sure it wasn’t just “talk”, as there have already been women in the past (and I’m sure we’ll learn about more in the future) who have made claims of being sexually assaulted by Donald Trump.  I knew that Bill Clinton’s infidelities would be brought back to the spotlight, and Donald sure tried to do that, by bringing some of Bill’s accusers to the debate.

But the nagging feeling wasn’t about the fact that it wasn’t just “locker room banter”.  I couldn’t fully understand what this nagging feeling was, because it was more than just disgust at what was said.  It was more than just hope that people would FINALLY open their eyes to what a disgusting pig the Republican nominee for President really is, although I knew from past experience with his saying things that should have lost him the support of others, it didn’t have that effect.

Then this morning, it finally hit me why this has been nagging at me so badly.  It’s not that Donald Trump had said these things.  That was not really a surprise, coming from him.  It is the fact that he is trying to blow this off as “locker room talk”.  And what’s worse, that this type of “defense” is actually even allowed to be uttered!  THIS is what is more upsetting, what is more frightening.

Our country, one that is supposed to be a world leading country, far more advanced than a vast majority of the world, is still living in caveman times!!  When we allow this type of talk, when we brush it off as “locker room banter”, we are allowing for the women in this country to be treated like they were back in caveman times.  Bashed over the head and dragged into a cave.

It is talk like this that makes the men on the dating site that I am on to think that it is perfectly fine to ask me about my preferred sex positions or about parts of my body.  That they feel it is no big deal to ask me to send them nude photos of myself.  To start conversations by telling me that I’m “sexy”.  Believe me, my photos on my profile are NOT in any way “sexy” or provocative.

It is talk like this that makes woman who have been victims of sexual assault and rape be made into the villains in courtrooms for wearing suggestive clothing, or too much makeup, or being flirty, or even being at a particular party in the first place.  It has become our fault, as women, for being too desirable, that men just can’t control themselves. 

It is talk like this that makes people like Brock Turner think that it’s acceptable to rape an unconscious woman behind a dumpster.  It’s talk like this that makes people like Judge Aaron Persky to sentence Brock Turner to a six month sentence for his RAPE conviction, because, as the Judge put it, it would have a “severe impact” on the defendant’s life.  On the DEFENDANT’S life???  What about the impact on the life of the woman that was RAPED???

It is this male-oriented, cave man, locker room banter mentality that has made it acceptable for our so-called leaders to say things like those things said on the tape, and to have that brushed off, or distracted by pointing out that “all men say things like this, and worse”. 

It’s time for it to NOT BE ACCEPTABLE for “all men to say things like this”!!  It’s time for it to NOT BE ACCEPTABLE for women to have to excuse or accept this! Our society has allowed for men to objectify women, to treat them like objects, to RAPE women.  And it’s not just men who are to blame.  We women need to stand up, stand together and REFUSE to allow this to continue!

These are our mothers, our grandmothers, our sisters, our daughters!  We need to lift them up, not cut them down with words that belittle them, that objectify them!  We must hold EVERY person, male and female, accountable for what they say, how they act, and for the general attitude they are promoting.

We cannot accept the defense of “locker room banter”!  Accepting that means we are accepting that women are not equal!  Accepting that means accepting that women are somehow “less” in worth than a man.  Accepting that means accepting that women will continue to be sexually assaulted and raped.  Accepting that means that women are simply objects to be bashed over the head and dragged into a cave.

This country needs to teach its male population (from infant to centenarian) to treat ALL humans with respect and dignity!  And the female population needs to learn to stop allowing this to happen, stop accepting this pathetic excuse!

Let’s move out of the caves of our attitudes towards gender!!