Liar Liar, Pants on Fire!`

Everyone lies!  EVERYONE!  Whether it is little white lies, like “Of course I like your new haircut!” or “No, you don’t look slutty in that outfit” … to the BIG doozies of lies, like when someone gets caught cheating in a relationship.  It’s become so pervasive in our society that it sadly isn’t even that big of a deal anymore. You hear lies on television, from co-workers, from friends, even from loved ones!  People don’t even think twice about telling a lie nowadays.

Lies come in all different forms.  The little white lies that I already mentioned are somewhat acceptable, I guess.  I mean, they are meant to NOT hurt someone, rather than to get away with something.  So,m they may actually be GOOD lies.  But then there are the other types of lies and liars that commit those lies that are anything but good! 

There are the very blatant lies, where someone will look you right in the eye and claim that something is true which is beyond the shadow of a doubt false (think about the recent election season, with many  claims being made, which when actually researched, turned out to be completely untrue). 

There are the lies made by the pathological liars, where they can’t even keep themselves from telling the lie, even when the truth is not so bad.  I dated a pathological liar a number of years ago.  It was actually pathetic, the things he’d lie about.  Stupid things that didn’t need to be lied about.  Things like the color of the shirt he may have worn that day.  But for him, getting away with the lie, no matter what the lie was, this was the point, the thrill.   That relationship didn’t last long. 

Then there are those people who lie and they truly believe that their lies are reality.  These are basically sociopaths.  No need to say how terrible these types of liars are.

But as bad as it may be to be lied to by any of the aforementioned types of liars, it isn’t the worst type of lies, with in my opinion.  The lies of omission are much worse! These last type  of lies are very dangerous, because they go hidden for a very long time, sometimes years on end! And to make it even worse, most people who commit lies of omissions by just keeping their mouth shut rather than being open and honest … these type of liars don’t actually even think they are liars!  They think, I didn’t actually say anything that isn’t true.  And that’s what makes it the worst kind of lying! Not speaking up about things that someone has a right to know, because it may cause tension, a fight, or even a breakup in some cases, well, that makes it even worse!  Because now, on top of the lie, there’s the secret!

This last type of liar is the one who doesn’t tell you that he or she was flirting with someone and even took their number.  They don’t tell you that they are keeping in touch with their ex.  They simply stay quiet about places they go or things that they do when you’re not around, when you’re thinking they’re doing something completely different.  And because you don’t ask these direct questions, because how would you even know to ask them in the first place, these types of liars just stay silent.  And then they convince themselves that they’re not actually lying, because it’s not like you asked and they made up a false story.  This type is so much worse than any other, because it’s secretive and sneaky!

That’s not to say that if any of these liars told the truth that what they’d normally lie about would be acceptable.  I guess that’s why they lie in the first place.  Because they don’t want the messy fight.  They don’t want to risk losing the other person. They also don’t want to be made to be accountable for themselves.

So, would the truth be better?  The film “The Invention of Lying” with Ricky Gervais takes a look at this concept.  It’s about a world where nobody lies (not even the little white lies) … that is, until one person does lie. It’s a very humorous and interesting movie. I recommend renting it!  My takeaway on the movie though … while a world without any lying (in any shape or form) is not great, I think it may still be better than the one in which there are so many forms of lies, and where lying is so commonplace.  Maybe allowing for the little white lies would be a good compromise.  But let’s get rid of the blatant, the pathological, the socio/psychopathic, and absolutely the lies of omission!!

Next time you are put in a situation where you may feel you want to lie … stop yourself.  Let’s see if we all can just be a bit more honest with each other!  And with ourselves!  It’s worth a try!