This is not your living room!!

This is a public service announcement for those who ride public transportation.  The train, bus, ferry or whatever form of shared public transportation you take is not … I repeat … NOT YOUR LIVING ROOM!!

I cannot tell you how often I have been on the subway and rolled my eyes or shook my head at people acting like they are in the privacy of their own homes. 

How many times have I seen women putting on their makeup on the train?  Way too many times to count, and way too many times to be ignored!  Your elbow practically hitting me in the face as you try to swab on your mascara while sitting next to me is not my idea of a morning commute!!  The powder you’re dusting all over your face … guess what?  It’s also landing on my shoulder!  Seriously, it takes all of 10 minutes at most to put on your makeup at home.  So, come on now, wake up 10 minutes earlier and get ready in your own bathroom or at your own vanity mirror!!  Believe me, those extra ten minutes of sleep aren’t doing you enough good to annoy everyone around you on the subway!

Another thing to NOT do on public transportation … eating!  Having your morning coffee on the train is ok, I guess.  Although I’d prefer you do that either at home or when you get to work.  But, as long as you don’t have an over-filled cup that keeps splashing onto me, I’ll let it slide.  And that is also as long as you have a good grip on it!  Because if you drop it and it lands on me … you’re gonna be paying my dry cleaning costs! 

I’ll accept the occasional candy bar.  Not the type that crumbles, though.  More than that … not acceptable. 

That bag of greasy Micky-D McNuggets that you are pulling from … not only is the grease smell gross, but now all that grease is covering your fingers!  And seeing you wipe your hands on your jeans … well, no words… simply no words!!  And Oh My God… do not touch the pole with those grease-covered fingers!!

If you go the “healthy” route, thinking it’s going to be ok to eat that yummy, juicy apple … guess what?!  With every bite you take, apple juice sprays on to everyone around you!  And it’s just so not attractive to see it dripping down your chin, which you then clean away with your sleeve.  Plus, your smacking gums can sometimes be heard over the music coming through my headphones, as I try to drown out rude people like you.

The potato chips … I get the greasy crumbs in MY lap while you eat them sitting next to me.  Same goes for the “breakfast” bar crumbs. 

The other day I was sitting next to a woman who pulled out a container of oatmeal that she had brought from home.  She then proceeded to mush it, tap it, spoon some up, shake some of what she put on the spoon off, tap again, put more on the spoon, a little less, uh oh, too much less, a little more, just a touch less … eat.  This was with EVERY mouthful!!!   And she was doing all this mushing, tapping, on, off, on, off, tap, on, tap, off, etc. with the arm that was on my side, so she kept hitting into me with every move!  Thankfully it was just a small container of oatmeal and not a Swanson Hungry Man Dinner!!

Another thing that should be saved for when you are home … nail care!!  Do not clip, file or paint your nails while on the subway!  Ok, so you snagged your nail on something, and you pull out the file and QUICKLY (the important qualifier being QUICKLY) file it down so it doesn’t snag on anything else.  That one I’ll give you.  But just because you have the file out … the other 9 nails don’t need the same attention!  And clipping?!  Um, no!  Just NO NO NO NO NO!!!  Nail polish?  Again, a big fat NOOOOO!  That smells a million times worse to people than those McNuggets!!  It’s an enclosed space.  So, unless you ask EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the car (or who will enter the car for the next 10 minutes, since the smell lingers) if they are ok with you doing your nails … don’t!

Another thing that people do on public transportation as if it were their living room … spreading!  You paid for a ride.  ONE ride.  That payment entitles you to get on, maybe to even get a seat, if you’re lucky.  What it doesn’t entitle you to is to spread!  Unless you paid twice, your bag doesn’t get a seat! This no-spread rule also includes your legs … sorry guys, but NOBODY is THAT big down there!  And don’t roll your eyes and suck at your teeth when you’re asked to scootch over a bit to allow someone to have a full seat, while you had previously spread to take up one and a half.

And seriously … GET YOUR FEET OFF THE FURNITURE!!  That may be allowed in your home, because at home, you’re probably (hopefully) not putting your feet up on the couch while your shoes are still on!  And it’s not allowed on public transportation either, where others have to sit where you shoes … which have walked through who the heck knows what … have been!  And this goes for the little kids too!  Yeah, your kid wants to look out the window, yeah it’s going to keep him distracted and entertained.  So you let them stand on the seat to do that.  Guess what, your kid is also stepping in stuff I don’t want to be sitting on when I take that seat after you get off!

The only thing I will say that you definitely SHOULD do as if you were home … TAKE YOUR TRASH WITH YOU AND THROW IT IN A PROPER RECEPTICAL!!  The train, bus, ferry, subway platform, sidewalk, or any other public space is NOT your personal trash can!  If you throw things in the proper place at home, do the same when out in public.  If you don’t I’m just going to assume that your home is probably a disgusting garbage dump! 

Ok, I’m done.  Now go out and behave like civilized people!! 

Technology --- Friend or Foe?!

The other day I got a text from a friend.  What he said in his text isn’t important.  The point I want to make is how easy it was for him to reach out to me to be in contact.  He had something that was he felt was important to talk with me about, so he quickly sent a text and just as quickly got an answer.  This happens every day, every hour, every minute, every second.  No, not on MY phone specifically, but on all our phones and computers and other electronic devices, collectively. 

If someone took a time machine to present day from the not-so-distant past, they would be shocked!  You see, I grew up in a time before cell phones.  Before computers.  A time when you had to be tethered to the phone that was either placed on a table or hung up on a wall by a cord.  And yes, we had cords that were long enough to walk around.  But then we had to deal with them getting all tangled.  I even grew up with the phones where you actually had to spin the dial to make the call! And all this wasn’t THAT long ago.  I’m older, but I’m not OLD.

Back then it was always a struggle as to who could be on the phone and for how long, because you had ONE phone line in the house for EVERYONE to use, and someone else was always waiting for a call or had to make a call.  I remember how exciting it was when I was in high school and got a phone number for me and my sister to share.  Now I only had to fight for time on the phone with just one other person.

And forget making a call during the day, if you happened to have someone to speak to in another area code!  Because you had to wait until after 9 p.m. when the rates went down. And even then you were told to keep the call short, because “Dad isn't working just to keep the phone company in business!”

If you had some really urgent news to tell someone, you had to either wait until you saw each other in person, or try to catch them when they happened to be home.  Because even answering machines didn’t become popular until the middle of the 1980s!  So, urgent as we see it nowadays was a lot different from when I was a kid.  Telling  your friend the blow-by-blow of a fight you had with your boyfriend was something that just had to wait until the next day in school!  And then you would sneak writing a note in class that you would pass to them in the hallway for them to read in their next class!

My sister, who is a teacher, catches her students on the phone all the time. They always wonder how she can tell. She is constantly explaining that nobody looks at their crotch and smiles/giggles for any other reason!  Well, hopefully they don’t.

And guess what, this was all better than when my parents were growing up, and had a “party line” that they shared with several neighbor families.  You’d pick up the phone to make a call, and there’d be your neighbor Alice talking to her sister Blanche about the latest goings on in the old neighborhood.  Talk about frustrating!

One thing that was good about back when I was a kid … lives were more private.  Things weren’t posted on the internet (by ourselves, I might add) that filled EVERYONE in on EVERY little thing happening in our lives, from the big stuff like getting engaged/married, a new job and having kids to the small thing, like what you ate at your last meal, what movie you are about to see, or that person that annoyed you on the subway.

As technology has developed, we have been able to advance to a time where people can be in touch … instantly!  And constantly!  And for any reason, whatsoever!

But it’s gotten to the point where people are so addicted to being “in the know” at all times, that they are missing out on what is happening right in front of them.  How many times have you been out to eat and the first thing you do is take your phone out of your pocket or bag and put it in front of you on the table?  Have you ever stopped to count the number of times during one meal you check your phone to see if any new message has come in or if there is anything new on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or Snapchat? Try counting sometime.  Or have a friend count for you, since you probably aren't even conscious that you are doing this.

A few months back I was out for lunch by myself.  I was sitting waiting for my meal, and instead of surfing Facebook, like any normal person would do, I decided to people-watch. There was a couple sitting at the table near me.  I watched as he spent the entire meal either texting/emailing or on the phone talking to someone.  Yes, he was having a conversation, but not with his girlfriend, who was sitting right across from him.  But, his girlfriend didn’t seem to mind, as she spent the entire meal on her phone as well.  Meanwhile, I spent the meal watching the two of them and thinking how sad a scene I was witnessing.  How is that a relationship?  Is every meal like that?  Why even bother to meet up for the meal if you aren’t going to spend any of the time actually being together, actually talking to each other?

And these two aren’t unique.  This is how it is out there, this is the norm!  So, here’s my proposal to you!  You didn’t think I’d propose so quickly after meeting you, did ya? ;-) The next meal you go out to with friends or family, make an agreement that for that ONE meal, nobody will pull out their phones.  You will only engage in conversations that are IRL and with the people who are actually there!  Then let me know if you were able to accomplish this.  Restore my faith in the human race!

If you can get through this one meal doing this, try to do this for at least one meal, at least once a week.  If you can get through that, then maybe we can get back to mealtimes the way they used to be, where we spent that time catching up with each other.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t want to go back to how it had been when I was a kid.  I do appreciate being able to have access information and those who I want to be in contact with whenever I feel like it.  But I also do miss the old days when things were more intimate, when we spent real time with each other, enjoying each other’s company and catching up. That has gone by the wayside with the development of modern technology. But with some minor changes, we can get back to that and closer to each other as a result!

KEEP AMERICA GREAT!

So, it’s been three and a half weeks since a certain Cheetos-colored individual took office.  This individual is also known simply as “45”.  I think I prefer 45, because I actually like the taste of Cheetos, but this Oompaloompa leaves a VERY sour taste in my mouth!  Nothing at all like a Cheetos.  I, personally, will never put the title “President” next to that man’s name, even if I do use his last name to speak of him and my distaste for his agenda.  As the hashtag goes, he’s #notmypresident!

In the less than one month since 45 took office, he has scrawled his name on a number of documents meant to push through his own agenda.  You know what I’m talking about, the agenda that his supporters wanted.  Or so they thought.  http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/02/every-terrifying-thing-that-donald-trump-has-done.html

I have one friend who actually voted for him (I actually know more than one person who voted for him, but I only know of one with whom I can have a rational discussion with about what 45 has been doing since taking office).  Every time either I or one of my other #notmypresident friends mentions something to our 45 supporter friend that was on the news (but, of course, not on FOX news), this 45 supporter friend is a bit surprised, and says that he hadn’t heard about that.  And he will even admit (at times) that he’s not really in favor of what 45 has done so far.

I think a good number of 45 supporters may feel the same about some of the things that 45 has been doing since taking office.  But I think they are so embarrassed by being duped by this con artist, this charlatan, this swindler, this fraud, but most of all, this dangerous individual … that they are just keeping quiet … or even worse, they are doubling down on their support. 

I mean, if you really and truly support 45 and the actions he has taken so far and intends to take in the future, then you are telling us that you are a racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, pathological liar … or that, at the very least, you support such a person! 

A lot of people who support 45 have said that the Women’s March didn’t really DO anything.  That it was a waste of time and that we were just being “crybabies”.  They want us to believe that over 3 MILLION people worldwide showing up and raising their voices didn’t mean anything. 

Supporters of 45 will say that going online and signing a petition or changing your social media profile to show you stand in support of what you believe in won’t change anything.

Or they may say that if you are against the Muslim Ban (from 7 countries that weren’t where the terrorists were from to begin with … but which don’t have business dealings with 45, so what does he care if he blocks them or not), that you’re anti-American.  And I don’t even want to think about what they will say when people show up for the rally in Times Square on February 19th to show solidarity and support of our Muslim brothers and sisters.  http://www.ffeu.org/blog/2017/2/8/i-am-a-muslim-too-rally  I’ll be there, will you?

Or the people supporting 45 will claim that speaking out against spending billions ($10 to $12 billion estimated) of tax dollars (because we all know that Mexico ain’t footing the bill!) on building a wall won’t stop him from going forward with this plan.  And never mind that the money to do this means other more deserving government funded programs will struggle or even fold, because 45 promised a wall to the bigots and racists of this country!

Supporters of 45 will say that being up in arms over his attempt to take away the availability of health care from millions of people without an alternative plan in place is wasted breath.  That Obamacare was horrible to begin with.  Say that to the 20,000 to 45,000 people who have died every year due to a lack of health care coverage before the Affordable Care Act went into effect!  Oh wait, you can’t … BECAUSE THEY DIED!!!

To those who say that doing all these things and more is a waste of time, I say to you ….

The United States of America is great (always has been and will continue to be) because we have the RIGHT and the ABILITY to speak up.  We ARE able to contact our representative (https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials) to let them know how we feel and that if they don’t feel or act the same, that we can put new representatives into office next time (http://www.mytimetovote.com/2017-Primary-Election-Dates.html).

America is still and always will be an amazing nation, because in this country we are allowed to join groups like INDIVISIBLE (https://www.indivisibleguide.com/) to find out what you can do to make your voice and your heart heard.

In America, we can raise our voices in a literal way but also in a figurative way by joining in the first National Strike against 45, which is planned for next Friday, February 17^th http://strike4democracy.com/  Because, even if you must go to work (because nobody is asking you to risk being fired), you can at least not buy ANYTHING that day!  You can make your view heard by controlling your wallets.  Because we all know, money talks!

And since money talks, in this great country of ours, we can be more cognizant of where we actually do spend our money.  We can support businesses that are on the same page as we are, when it comes to our viewpoints.  https://grabyourwallet.org/  

Yes, America is a GREAT nation.  Always has been, and one orange-colored racist isn’t going to change that!  Because, as long as we all are cognizant, vigilant, diligent of what is happening, as long as we speak up and take action, we can ensure that this will remain a GREAT nation, and not the dictatorship that a certain Oompaloompa and his racist, billionaire-club cronies want to create.

(My apologies to Willy Wonka.  I know it’s insulting to you and your orange colored assistants to use this term in describing this guy, but it really fits, at least color-wise!)

Blizzard? What blizzard?

New vlog post. Not dating related. I know, I have to finish that series! But check out this one in the meantime!


https://youtu.be/LzT_kZPCh9g

A Perfect 10!!

Look through any magazine or online advertisement, and you will see GORGEOUS people with PERFECT bodies.  Or should I say that what you’ll see is what the advertising world would like us to believe is “perfect”.  There is no such thing as “perfect” and there is no one look that will appeal to all people.  Some people are attracted to those who are tall, others to shorter people (like me … short, that is … I’m short!)  Some like those who are thin, others like athletic, and still others find people are bigger to be sexy.  Straight hair, curly, wavy or even bald.  Light skin, dark skin, caramel or freckled. Blonde, brunette, redhead, purple, pink, blue, green, etc., etc., etc.  Like they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Saying one is better than the other is a complete travesty.  Being a specific body type isn’t what’s important.  But, staying healthy, well, that’s important for everyone, no matter what body type floats your boat. 

Unfortunately, staying in shape and staying healthy is not so easy to achieve.  It takes work.  Hard work!  And human nature is for us to gravitate towards the easy, towards the lazy.

Actually, I’m one of those strange creatures who likes to work out.  That is, once I’m actually doing it. See, even for me, I gravitate towards the lazy if I’m not actually doing the exercise.  If I’m sitting on my comfy couch, watching some stupid television show and noshing on something yummy, it can be rather difficult to make myself get up and do some exercises.  Even harder if I have to actually get into exercise clothing and walk to the gym!

So how can I get myself motivated?  Well, looking in the mirror and focusing on the jiggly parts could help.  But while that may make me healthy in my body, it’s not really healthy for my soul.  I mean, let’s be honest, we ALL have jiggly parts.  Ok, maybe not someone who enters body building competitions, but they still have parts that they want to improve.  So focusing on the negatives about ourselves is not the answer. We should all want to improve (physically, mentally and emotionally), but berating ourselves isn’t a healthy way to go about it.

Looking through those magazines or online at photos of people in shape isn’t a way to go about it either.  I mean, first of all, those photos are touched up.  Sometimes A LOT! But even if they were realistic (ha!!), just because you see someone with fantastic abs, or really nicely sculpted arms, it doesn’t mean that you will look like that, no matter how much you exercise.  We all are born with different body types, and just because we want to look a certain way doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll get there.  At least not without some plastic surgery, and that’s not what I’m suggesting here!

For me, I am never going to be able to sing Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass” song and have anyone believe the lyrics are about me!  I definitely have “white girl butt” syndrome!  I do squats, bridges, lunges and all the other exercises that are supposed to plump up your derriere.  But my butt never gets much bigger than it currently is.  And oh how I wish I had a bubble butt!! But sadly, that just won’t ever be the case. 

So rather than focusing on achieving a body shape that would be worthy of a Sports Illustrated cover, I think people need to focus more on making themselves healthy!  Focus on doing things that will make your heart stronger, and you bones less frail as you age.  Get yourself moving a bit more, and sitting around doing nothing a bit less.  Eat a bit more of the healthy stuff and stay away from the crap a bit more. And do it starting right now!!  Because the younger you start this, the more it will become a part of who you are, and the less difficult it will be to accomplish or to keep up as you get older!

That doesn’t mean that we should all spend a ton of cash and buy expensive gym memberships.  Just focus on doing a few things differently.  Like, maybe get off the subway one stop early and walk the extra few blocks on a nice sunny day.  Take the stairs, instead of the elevator (especially if you only have a couple of flights to go up or down.)  Or just turn on some fun, energetic music and dance your tush off!  If it’s a nice evening, take a short stroll around the neighborhood after dinner to work off the calories.  And instead of grabbing that bag a chips, grab some nuts instead.  Boring?  How about sprinkling them with a bit of seasoning?

Do these things, and no matter your body type, you’ll have a body that appreciates all you are doing to keep it healthy!!

Liar Liar, Pants on Fire!`

Everyone lies!  EVERYONE!  Whether it is little white lies, like “Of course I like your new haircut!” or “No, you don’t look slutty in that outfit” … to the BIG doozies of lies, like when someone gets caught cheating in a relationship.  It’s become so pervasive in our society that it sadly isn’t even that big of a deal anymore. You hear lies on television, from co-workers, from friends, even from loved ones!  People don’t even think twice about telling a lie nowadays.

Lies come in all different forms.  The little white lies that I already mentioned are somewhat acceptable, I guess.  I mean, they are meant to NOT hurt someone, rather than to get away with something.  So,m they may actually be GOOD lies.  But then there are the other types of lies and liars that commit those lies that are anything but good! 

There are the very blatant lies, where someone will look you right in the eye and claim that something is true which is beyond the shadow of a doubt false (think about the recent election season, with many  claims being made, which when actually researched, turned out to be completely untrue). 

There are the lies made by the pathological liars, where they can’t even keep themselves from telling the lie, even when the truth is not so bad.  I dated a pathological liar a number of years ago.  It was actually pathetic, the things he’d lie about.  Stupid things that didn’t need to be lied about.  Things like the color of the shirt he may have worn that day.  But for him, getting away with the lie, no matter what the lie was, this was the point, the thrill.   That relationship didn’t last long. 

Then there are those people who lie and they truly believe that their lies are reality.  These are basically sociopaths.  No need to say how terrible these types of liars are.

But as bad as it may be to be lied to by any of the aforementioned types of liars, it isn’t the worst type of lies, with in my opinion.  The lies of omission are much worse! These last type  of lies are very dangerous, because they go hidden for a very long time, sometimes years on end! And to make it even worse, most people who commit lies of omissions by just keeping their mouth shut rather than being open and honest … these type of liars don’t actually even think they are liars!  They think, I didn’t actually say anything that isn’t true.  And that’s what makes it the worst kind of lying! Not speaking up about things that someone has a right to know, because it may cause tension, a fight, or even a breakup in some cases, well, that makes it even worse!  Because now, on top of the lie, there’s the secret!

This last type of liar is the one who doesn’t tell you that he or she was flirting with someone and even took their number.  They don’t tell you that they are keeping in touch with their ex.  They simply stay quiet about places they go or things that they do when you’re not around, when you’re thinking they’re doing something completely different.  And because you don’t ask these direct questions, because how would you even know to ask them in the first place, these types of liars just stay silent.  And then they convince themselves that they’re not actually lying, because it’s not like you asked and they made up a false story.  This type is so much worse than any other, because it’s secretive and sneaky!

That’s not to say that if any of these liars told the truth that what they’d normally lie about would be acceptable.  I guess that’s why they lie in the first place.  Because they don’t want the messy fight.  They don’t want to risk losing the other person. They also don’t want to be made to be accountable for themselves.

So, would the truth be better?  The film “The Invention of Lying” with Ricky Gervais takes a look at this concept.  It’s about a world where nobody lies (not even the little white lies) … that is, until one person does lie. It’s a very humorous and interesting movie. I recommend renting it!  My takeaway on the movie though … while a world without any lying (in any shape or form) is not great, I think it may still be better than the one in which there are so many forms of lies, and where lying is so commonplace.  Maybe allowing for the little white lies would be a good compromise.  But let’s get rid of the blatant, the pathological, the socio/psychopathic, and absolutely the lies of omission!!

Next time you are put in a situation where you may feel you want to lie … stop yourself.  Let’s see if we all can just be a bit more honest with each other!  And with ourselves!  It’s worth a try!

Things are looking up!!

So, I officially finished my first FULL week of work at the new job!!  Yes, I know that I started working there at the end of December, but my first week I only worked 3 days.  The next week was a short week as well, having New Year’s Day off.  So this past week was the first time in four months that I went to an office and put in a full day’s work (and overtime) for five days in a row!! 

Next week is a short week as well with Martin Luther King Jr. day! So I lucked out and have a 3-day weekend following the first full week!  I probably still may need to log in from home to do some work on Monday, though. You see, even though I’m new to this job, I’m not new to this type of work.  So they threw me right in, full speed, head first!  I already have deadlines looming!  Talk about hitting the ground running!

But I have to say … it feels GREAT to be back in the mix!!

Now that I’m back in the real world, I realize just how depressing the past four months really were.  You see, not only did I lose the job, but my “romantic” life had hit a bump in the road right about the same time that I left my last job.  Yup, double whammy.

But, I now realize that losing both the job and the guy were actually the best things that could have happened. And, although I wasn’t very happy at the time, I’m so much better off and happier now! 

While my last job was less “deadline” driven than this new one, and while I wasn't unhappy there, it definitely had its own stresses. Even just the basics of having my own work space now makes this job so much better! In the last job, the way the office was set up was very “open office, common space” concept. While this may be great for a start-up, promoting communication and creativity, for the job I have, it was very difficult to concentrate!  Also, having a full-blown cubicle, rather than just a partition separating me from the person next to me at this one REALLY long desk makes me feel as though I’m valued more.

There are lots of other nice perks at this new job too. Like the Wednesday afternoon snack of veggies, hummus and dips and the Friday morning bagels and spreads. The AMAZING views from the office will probably never cease to take my breath. And the technology at this company far surpasses what we dealt with at my last job.

All these little things, and more, make me realize that although I was sad that my position at my old job was being phased out, it was actually a blessing in disguise.

As for the romantic area of my life … that too is a lot better now than it was back then. It took some time (maybe too much time, actually) but I now realize that where I had been, and what I was getting out of that area of my life (or wasn’t getting), well, it just wasn’t the best place for me. I was selling myself short. I talked myself into accepting less than I deserved. A LOT less! 

I realize now that being treated with respect, that knowing someone is excited about getting to know everything about me, and actually allowing me to get to know everything about him … that is what I should have had to begin with.  And it’s what I will always make sure I have going forward with all my interpersonal relationships. I won’t accept anyone into my life who doesn’t have it within themselves to provide this for me.

So, all these changes, while they weren’t ones I actively chose for myself, were actually the best things that could have happened to me.  That old adage of “When one door closes, a window opens” or whatever version of that saying you’ve heard, is absolutely true!

To look at it another way … yeah, it might seem like you are “losing” when negative things like job loss or other types of endings happen to you.  But while things that may seem like negatives at the time, just hold on.  Because those endings allow for positive things to fill the spaces left behind. 

Where’s the humanity??

A little over a week ago I was on the subway heading into the city. I had a coveted spot, leaning up against the door.  I know, it’s not as good as having a seat, but it sure beats having to hold onto the pole or to struggle to reach the bar above those who lucked out and got a seat.  It was crowded, but not wall-to-wall packed.  And even though it’s winter outside, it was really warm in the train.  

All of a sudden I see this guy that had been leaning against another wall collapse to the floor.  I must say, he fainted rather gracefully, just slowly collapsing towards the ground.  What wasn’t graceful were the people standing right next to him, who could have tried to help this young man as he dropped.  But instead, they literally (and yes, I mean LITERALLY) jumped out of the way!

I understand that it is surprising when something like this happens, because you don’t really know what exactly is going on.  But it’s easy to figure it out quickly.  Which is why I was really upset by the reaction of those standing closest to him.

Everyone that was standing near this guy was moving away as quickly as they could. Meanwhile, I was rushing towards him!  Unfortunately, I wasn’t close enough to cushion his fall or prevent him from making it all the way face down onto the floor of a NYC subway!  But I did immediately, without even thinking about it, move to help him in any way I could.

He woke up pretty quickly.  I talked with him to let him know what happened, asked his name, and if he had any medical conditions, including epilepsy.  He didn’t, but had been sick with the flu the week prior.  So that, combined with the warmth of the subway car was probably why he fainted.  I kept him seated on the ground for a bit, until he wasn’t as dizzy.  Meanwhile, I asked those around me to find out if anyone had a fruit or something for him to eat, and someone offered up a breakfast bar.  I asked that we find a seat for him when he was ok enough to stand up.  And again, unfortunately, my faith in humanity was let down, because, while someone did give up their seat, it wasn’t either of the people with the seats closest to this young man! 

The story about this young man’s ordeal goes on with more good people involved, but also with more things that made me shake my head in disappointment with people!  The whole situation made me sad. I totally get that this is a harsh world we live in, and that people (especially people in big cities like New York City) tend to have their guards up because of all the negatives that happen daily in this world.  But it really depresses me that we have gotten to the point where our self-preservation has caused some of us to lose our humanity!

It also made me wonder, if I had a different Dad, would I have been so quick to help?  Let me explain…

When I was a very young child, my Dad was a volunteer National Ski Patrolman.  He would be out on the ski slopes every weekend, helping those who got hurt.  Later in my life, but still while I was a kid, my Dad had joined up with the Coast Guard Auxiliary.  Again, he was helping people, but this time on the open waters.  And whenever my family was in the car heading somewhere, if there was an accident on the roads my Dad would pull over to see if he could help with anyone that may have been injured.  Anytime that my Dad would see someone needing assistance, especially first aid assistance, he would step up!  I never saw him hesitate.  I never saw him move away from someone in need.

So, I learned by example.  If someone needs help, I help.  If someone needs support, I’m there for them.  I think of others and not just of myself.  And it’s not that I “try” to think of others.  I just do it.  It’s how I was raised.  It’s just been instilled in me to do so, without thinking.  Because I follow my Dad’s example!

Yes, it was a different time when I was growing up.  The world (at least my immediate world) seemed smaller, and more of a community.  There weren’t terror attacks constantly in the news, or as many random acts of violence.  But is it these violent times that is causing people to lose their humanity?  Or is it the loss of our humanity that is causing the increase in violence in our world?

And more importantly, how do we get our humanity back?

OMG! The Pressure!!!

It’s a New Year!  And that means people all over the world are going to make resolutions.  Promises to do things, or to stop doing things, or to accomplish things, or to add positives and/or to remove negatives from their lives.  All of these promises, all of these resolutions, are made on one particular day solely because we are starting a new year, and well … why not start NEW in the new year, right?! 

It also seems to be a day that people “declare”, rather than resolve.  They declare their love by maybe getting married or engaged, or maybe they just “DTR”.  No offense to anyone who has done this or plans to do this in the future, but … seriously?  I mean, what if things don’t work out? Then for the rest of your life New Year’s Eve will be a reminder of a doomed relationship!  I mean, why go there?  The whole world will be celebrating with champagne and noisemakers and you’ll be drowning your sorrows, depressed that things didn’t work out.  And I know I may offend some people, but this just comes across as, well, kinda desperate and if I'm being honest here, kinda hokey!

Anyway, over the years I have vacillated between making resolutions and absolutely refusing to make resolutions.  I don’t need that kind of pressure!  Plus, I really feel that there’s no need to wait for this one particular day to make positive changes in my life.  I mean, what’s wrong with making a resolution on, let’s say, April 23^rd.  Or how’s about July 9^th?   September 18^th seems like a good day to make changes!  What’s so special about January 1^st?  Isn’t every day the first day of the rest of your life? (yeah, I know, that was definitely hokey!)

Plus, when I think of the things that people usually have on their resolution list, well … I’ve already gotten the new job (Woot woot!!)  I already go to the gym.  Two gyms, in fact!  I don’t smoke, so no need to quit.  I don’t drink excessively, and I’m not quitting that completely.  I’m not in debt, so no need to pay off credit cards. I guess I could eat more healthy foods.  But where’s the fun in that?  There’s not much that is traditionally on a resolution list that I would need to resolve to accomplish.

But this year I am going to … well, not necessarily make resolutions, but I’m going to commit to try to accomplish several things that I’ve had in the back of my mind to do for some time now!

First, I have had an idea for a novel for many years now.  I even tried a number of years ago to write it.  But it never got completed (or really started).  I think that back then I just didn’t have the commitment to do it, nor did I have the writing skills.  Do I have those skills now?  Not sure.  But I definitely feel that I can give it another try.  Not sure this “commitment” will be completed in one year, but at least starting it is … a start!

I also have an idea for what I think would make a really cute, fun, animated movie!  So, I am going to write up the storyline, develop a screenplay for it and then try to hook up with some animators to see about putting it together!  If you happen to know of or be an animator, please contact me!!  (email address is in my main profile on here)

And last year when I started this blog, one of my closest friends suggested that I start a vlog.  She thought I’d be really good at that.  To be honest, it was something that actually scared me to even think about.  And I’m not so sure it’s something I’d be good at or that anyone would want to even watch.  But I do think it’s something to consider.  I still am not sure if this one will come to fruition, but I commit to at least consider it!  I’d still have to think through all the logistics of this one.  Is it going to be just videos of the things that I now currently write about?  Or will it be separate from the blog?  Do I keep to a schedule, like I do with this blog, with a new one coming out every Sunday?  Or just as the whim hits me and once I’ve had the time to edit things?  It’s got to be more involved than editing my written blog! Plus I’ll first have to learn about how to edit the videos!  Choppy videos probably won’t make great vlogs, huh?

So, anyway, I guess my New Year’s Resolutions are to be more creative this year!

I really welcome all suggestions, comments, and even trolling!  I mean, if I’m going to start my own YouTube channel, I’m going to have to get used to ignoring the trolls, right?  So, if you have anything to say, any suggestions or comments … if you have any gems of experience, any words of encouragement, or disparaging comments meant to thicken my skin, please either comment here or send me an email to the address in my main profile.  I don’t promise responses (especially if you’re a troll, since I’m supposed to learn to ignore you, right?) But I promise that I will read everything!  

Shoot!  I just made another New Year’s promise!

Must love dogs … and cats, hamsters, birds, fish ….

I have always been an animal lover. Always! I have had pet dogs, cats, fish and hamsters throughout my entire life.  And I know I’ll always have some furry family member for the rest of my life.  (Yes, I  know that fish aren’t furry.  But I probably won’t have any more fish.  They are actually rather difficult to keep alive!)

It goes without saying that any guy I get involved with must love animals too!  If he has pets, that’s great, but I have enough for the both of us, so it’s ok if he’s just glomming onto my furrbabies.  I have dated guys that were “ok” with animals, but those were usually first and last dates.  They actually need to really love animals to last with me. 

What I never realized before, though, was how much someone who doesn’t have any pets will have to learn to put up with when they join my pack.  Living with animals definitely takes some getting used to. 

Mealtime becomes interesting, even if you don’t give them anything from the table.  And the guy in my life has to get used to being walked across while we sleep, as well as having three furry monsters taking up a lot of space in the bed!  And there’s the more than occasional time when my dog sneezes in his face!  She sneezes and snorts a lot!  It goes with being a Shih Tzu.

But, there are a lot of benefits to having pets.  Like the cuddles (and head butts from the kitties).  Also, getting greeted at the door after a long day of dealing with annoying human animals is one of the best things about having pets!  If you’re feeling sad, mad or anxious, the furr babies can be a fantastic distraction.  And there’s that unconditional love that they give you.  You can’t get that in the human world.  No such thing as “unconditional” for humans when it comes to love.

However, you also have to be willing to clean up after them.  This includes picking up poop and cleaning up vomit.  Yeah, not so much fun.  But still, it must be done!

And let’s not forget that there will be fur on EVERYTHING!!  I totally should buy stock in the company that makes the lint rollers!! 

Plus, dogs and cats don’t put away their toys when they are done playing with them (well, maybe that one dog that has been trained so that the owner can post the YouTube video of them cleaning up their toys, saying their prayers and tucking themselves into bed at night).  So occasionally, I will step on something that goes “squeak” or some other toy that isn’t soft and squishy (which actually hurts!!)

But that’s not as bad as when you are walking from point A to point B while at home and suddenly realize that you stepped in something that you are PRAYING is just vomit!  Seriously, would you ever think that you’d pray something is “just vomit”?  If you’re a pet owner, you probably have!  It must be hilarious to an observer to then watch me hop my way to the nearest sink to wash the offending yuckiness off! 

Thankfully, I haven’t had any guy accidentally step in something!  I don’t know for sure, but that totally could be a deal breaker for them!  For me, my deal breaker would be a guy who isn’t an animal lover!!  I wouldn’t trade my furrbabies for anything!  Not even for the hottest, most amazing guy in the world.  But, thankfully, there are plenty of hot, amazing guys out there who are animal lovers!!  Even for my three crazy ones!!