When does dating get easier?!?!

Dating!  I hated it when I was younger.  Hate it still!  I’ve seriously never really LIKED to date.  I find it exciting in the beginning, but at the same time, very uncomfortable.  I’d much rather be seeing just one person!  But of course, you must date first to get to that point.  Or at least that’s how it works most of the time. 

The first few dates with someone new always feel like interviews to me.  You are trying to be on your best behavior, tell only the most flattering things about yourself, and you make that extra effort to look AMAZING, from your outfit to your hair to your makeup. 

Then when you have a few dates with one person, you start to relax a bit.  I personally still like to make sure I look good, but after a few dates, I’ll start to let them see more of my vulnerabilities.  Let them get to know the deeper things about me.  Hopefully they do the same.  Although, I have dated some guys who are … hmm, how should I put this … almost downright secretive.  It can almost seem like I’m dating someone who is in a witness protection program, where I can know NOTHING about their life when they aren’t with me.  It really only makes me wonder what is not being said, what is so horrible that I can’t know more about them?  What are they hiding?!?!  And then, when the dating/seeing each other comes to an end, I usually feel that I never really knew them at all.  And yes, it does eventually end, because how can you develop any kind of relationship of any depth with someone who won’t let you in, and makes sure that you never feel like you are really a part of their life in any significant way.

I’ve done the online dating thing.  I have a ton of funny (and yet, not so funny) stories from that!  Like the guy who in the first few emails back and forth started to “yell” at me for not sharing his political views.  You can probably guess, that never ended up being an actual date.  Or the guy that peeled away from my curb before I had even gotten 2 feet away.  I mean, really?  At least watch that I get inside, if you’re not willing to walk me to the door.  Or the guy who, after I told him that I don’t really feel a “romantic” kind of connection to him, asked if I could set him up with my sister (who he hadn’t even seen, but only knew I had because he asked about siblings on our one date)

Also, with online dating, I usually get either guys that are VERY young, looking for that “cougar” relationship or quick hookup, or I get the guy who claims he’s 55, but looks closer to 75. So there’s a lot more of “um, no thanks”, than there are actual dates.

I’ve been set up on dates with guys through friends.  Sometimes I wonder after those experiences … “Really?  Is that what my friend thinks of me?”  Don’t get me wrong, I have been set up with some very nice guys too.  The last set-up I had, the guy was very nice, but I just didn’t feel that romantic type of connection.  Too bad, because he was a nice guy.

I’ve also gone the route of deciding to be alone for a while.  Just hang out with my friends and focus on me and what is going on in my life.  And while that is definitely needed at times, it does get lonely.  And honestly, after a while of being alone, it’s kind of difficult to get back out there. 

I was recently seeing someone, but unfortunately, that’s ended.  So now I need to decide, do I re-activate my OKCupid account?  Ask my friends if they know any nice, single guys.  Or do I just go solo for now?  Hmm, decisions, decisions.  Why doesn’t this get any easier as we get older?!?