Must love dogs … and cats, hamsters, birds, fish ….

I have always been an animal lover. Always! I have had pet dogs, cats, fish and hamsters throughout my entire life.  And I know I’ll always have some furry family member for the rest of my life.  (Yes, I  know that fish aren’t furry.  But I probably won’t have any more fish.  They are actually rather difficult to keep alive!)

It goes without saying that any guy I get involved with must love animals too!  If he has pets, that’s great, but I have enough for the both of us, so it’s ok if he’s just glomming onto my furrbabies.  I have dated guys that were “ok” with animals, but those were usually first and last dates.  They actually need to really love animals to last with me. 

What I never realized before, though, was how much someone who doesn’t have any pets will have to learn to put up with when they join my pack.  Living with animals definitely takes some getting used to. 

Mealtime becomes interesting, even if you don’t give them anything from the table.  And the guy in my life has to get used to being walked across while we sleep, as well as having three furry monsters taking up a lot of space in the bed!  And there’s the more than occasional time when my dog sneezes in his face!  She sneezes and snorts a lot!  It goes with being a Shih Tzu.

But, there are a lot of benefits to having pets.  Like the cuddles (and head butts from the kitties).  Also, getting greeted at the door after a long day of dealing with annoying human animals is one of the best things about having pets!  If you’re feeling sad, mad or anxious, the furr babies can be a fantastic distraction.  And there’s that unconditional love that they give you.  You can’t get that in the human world.  No such thing as “unconditional” for humans when it comes to love.

However, you also have to be willing to clean up after them.  This includes picking up poop and cleaning up vomit.  Yeah, not so much fun.  But still, it must be done!

And let’s not forget that there will be fur on EVERYTHING!!  I totally should buy stock in the company that makes the lint rollers!! 

Plus, dogs and cats don’t put away their toys when they are done playing with them (well, maybe that one dog that has been trained so that the owner can post the YouTube video of them cleaning up their toys, saying their prayers and tucking themselves into bed at night).  So occasionally, I will step on something that goes “squeak” or some other toy that isn’t soft and squishy (which actually hurts!!)

But that’s not as bad as when you are walking from point A to point B while at home and suddenly realize that you stepped in something that you are PRAYING is just vomit!  Seriously, would you ever think that you’d pray something is “just vomit”?  If you’re a pet owner, you probably have!  It must be hilarious to an observer to then watch me hop my way to the nearest sink to wash the offending yuckiness off! 

Thankfully, I haven’t had any guy accidentally step in something!  I don’t know for sure, but that totally could be a deal breaker for them!  For me, my deal breaker would be a guy who isn’t an animal lover!!  I wouldn’t trade my furrbabies for anything!  Not even for the hottest, most amazing guy in the world.  But, thankfully, there are plenty of hot, amazing guys out there who are animal lovers!!  Even for my three crazy ones!!

Act like an adult!

What does that mean?  Act like an adult. It’s not a very specific or detailed statement, if you ask me.  Similar statements include “Grow up”, “Act your age” and “Stop being childish”.

But I think we all know what that means, even if it’s not explicitly defined.  It means to take responsibility for yourself and for your actions/words.  It means that even though the situation may be uncomfortable, at least have the decency to treat the other person with the respect they deserve and tell them the truth!

I was speaking with a good friend of mine the other day.  She had been in a relationship with a guy for over 2 years.  And of course, over the course of the relationship, there were good times and bad times, as is always the case in any relationship.  Things recently had been fine between her and her boyfriend.  No major arguments or fights.  Nothing to suggest problems in the relationship.  But for some reason, one day out of the blue, he just disappeared! Completely stopped responding to messages she would send.  No longer taking her phone calls.  Just … gone.  My friend had been ghosted.  Perhaps the relationship wasn’t something he wanted anymore.  Perhaps he had spent time thinking this through on his own. But he never brought up any concerns or thoughts he was having with her.  He didn’t have the decency to let her know what was upsetting him.  He just decided that it was a better option to remove himself from existence in her world completely.  To not have the possibly uncomfortable conversation.  To not have to defend his feelings, if she questioned why.  In other words … not very adult-like behavior.  Maybe he just “didn’t want to deal”.  But, sorry … you’re an adult and your actions (or lack of actions) have an effect on someone else, and you owe it to that person to not act like a child!  Especially after being with that person for over 2 years!!  But even if it had been 2 months or 2 weeks, or even a date … the other person in the situation deserves to be treated with enough respect to not pull something like that!

An ex-boyfriend of mine handled ended our relationship in a different, yet also “non-adult” like way. He chose the “I’m gonna act like a complete jerk and get her to break up with me” plan of action.  It wasn’t the first time I’ve dealt with this type of childish way of handling adult situations.  It wasn’t the last time I dealt with that either.  But some guys (and girls) are just cowards when it comes to acting like an adult and actually having the decency to talk to the other person.

There are similar situations that don’t involve boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.  Like the person who pulls the “fake emergency phone call” to get out of a date or hanging out with someone.  Or they pretend they aren’t feeling well.  I guess these could work from time to time, but since we all know about how people pull this crap, it usually doesn’t work in fooling the person they are trying to ditch.  One time, I actually had some guy pull this crap on me, but the idiot didn’t realize that the volume on his phone was high enough for me to hear the other side of the conversation …

Him:            (answers the phone call he got) Hey!
Friend:        Hey, what’s up?  You said to call you right away.  You ok?
Him:            What?  When did that happen?
Friend:        Just now. You sent me that txt
Him:            OMG! Was anyone hurt?
Friend:        Huh?
Him:            Ok, yeah, of course! Absolutely! I’ll be there as fast as I can!!
Friend:        Oohhh!!  Ok, you need to get out of a date, huh?  Ok, call me when
                   you’re out of there!

Meanwhile, I’m sitting there hearing the entire conversation, and doing my best to keep my poker face.  I didn’t confront him, because honestly, I wanted to get away from him just as much at that point! I did end up sending him a txt the next day to let him know I had heard the entire conversation, and as a word of advice, he might want to lower the volume on his calls!  LOSER!!

All of these ways of handling uncomfortable situations are bad!  All of these ways will end up causing the person that is being treated with a lack of respect to not be able to look back on the time the spent with this person with anything other than regret and hostility.  Because how can you have fond feelings for someone who maybe was great towards you for a long time, when they ruin all of that by treating you so poorly in the end?

But I’ve been thinking about this, after speaking with my friend the other day.  It made me think about what she and I had both been saying.  About how her boyfriend needed to just “grow up” and “act like an adult”.  How we were both convinced that it’s immaturity that causes people to act in this “childish” and irresponsible way.  See, the thing is though, children would probably be more “adult” in these types of situations.  They are the ones that don’t have the filters that we get as we “grow up”.  They are the ones who would straight up tell you that they don’t want to be your friend.  That they don’t like you that way.  Or that they don’t want to play with you anymore and they just want to go home.  So I am changing my statement to my friend.  Her now EX boyfriends needs to start acting like a kid and say what he means!!

Let's go to the gym to .... chat?

I work out. And I actually enjoy it. I like taking zumba and kickboxing classes. I also like to lift weights and use the machines. Going to the gym isn't something I dread.

What I don't like ... when people go to the gym and spend most of the time that they are there either chatting with their friends or glued to their phones. And they do this either during the various classes, or while sitting their lazy butts on a machine so nobody else can use the machine.

Go to Starbucks or just hang out at home if that's what you plan to do! Don't hog the machines or the weights if you just want to sit there texting. And please, for the love of all that's holy, STOP THE CONSTANT CHATTER DURING THE CLASSES!!!

I came down to Florida to visit my parents and I've been using the really nice gym facilities here. I'm very impressed with their gym and all they have in there! Plus I've been going with my Mom to her zumba classes. And guess what? It's no different down here. As a matter of fact, with the older adults here, it's even worse in some senses.

In the zumba class we were taking there is this one woman who I'll call Yolanda. I seriously think this woman has dementia. She kept shouting out the entire class. Either "singing along" with the songs (that's in qoutes because she was getting all the words wrong or singing the words a second or two after they were sung by the actual singer on the song) or just shouting out nonsense. I can't fault her though. If she has dementia, it's out of her control. In fact, I applaud that she's still active and staying relatively fit! But it was rather distracting.

But the other women in the class don't seem to realize that they're in an exercise class that's meant to exercise their bodies and not their vocal chords. I heard discussions about whether they were going to the show on Saturday, what happened at their last doctor's appointment (something that's definitely TMI for an exercise class), this really great restaurant that has an amazing early bird special,  and who just arrived as a snowbird, or who had to go into the hospital or hospice.

I know that exercising is also a social activity, but when it interferes with actually exercising, then it's a problem. The one difference down here ... with the weights and machines, you don't see people sitting there texting rather than working out. As a matter of fact, very few people use the free weights at all. At least the ones that are more than 3 pounds.

So, I guess if I'm going to work out in a gym, I'm just going to have to get used to the chatter, since it's not going to get better as I get older. 

Is it a vacation if you’re technically not working?

I’ve technically not been “employed” since September 1^st of this year.  Well, that’s not exactly correct.  Because technically I AM employed, but I don’t go into the office, and I don’t have to work the normal 9 to 5 day (which we all know is never 9 to 5 anymore). I work from home on various projects by logging in remotely.  But, while I’m in this strange “in-between” stage of working/not working, I am also interviewing for a new job that will be in an office, and will be 9 to 5 or whatever equivalent that comes in today’s work world.

After several months of speaking with mostly recruiters, and having just a few interviews, since there are very few job openings at my level, I am very close to receiving offers from 2 different companies (probably will hear about one next week). So it seems that this strange situation is going to be coming to an end soon.  With this in mind, I decided to get away from New York, the cooler weather, and the boredom of being at home too much!  Also, once I start a new job I will not have the opportunity to get away for a while. So it’s kind of a now or not for a very long time scenario. But, since I’m in this strange in-between job situation, is this technically considered a “vacation”?

Whatever it’s called, I’m down in South Florida, enjoying the beautiful weather, sitting by the pool and definitely not wearing a coat.  I plan to go to the Keys to do some snorkeling, and eat some yummy key lime pie!  I’m going to be able to hit the gym here every day (it’s a really nice gym, and not that crowded, so no waiting for machines or equipment!) and take some zumba classes.  There is a gorgeous, practically professional pool hall here.  Maybe I’ll come back to NY and be able to hustle someone! (probably not)

Tonight I’m going to the show.  Tonight's show will be a couple of singers.  Not sure if I’ll know the songs, but it’s entertainment. There are barbeques on Tuesdays and Thursdays here.  And I’ll get to see a couple of movies in the big movie theater they have here, for a cost of $2!!  I even plan to try my hand at golfing!!  If nothing else, it will be fun to drive the golf cart around!! 

We also plan to hit the casino that’s nearby (I’m not much of a gambler, but it will be fun for an evening).  And of course, I’ve signed up for a couple of meetup events to go to while I’m down here!  A board game one, and possibly a karaoke one!  Haven’t fully committed to the karaoke one yet.

But the best part of this  … whatever we want to call this … the cost is very economical!  Why?  Because I’m here at my parents’ place!  So, whether we want to consider me employed or not employed, I didn’t have to pay over a grand to take a vacation to a warm, fun place!!  And even better, I got to bring my dog with me!!  She loves coming to visit her Nanny and Grandpa!!

So, to all my NY peeps, I’ll see you guys when I get back.  But for now, please excuse me, because it’s time to go sit in the hot tub!!

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you

All relationships begin with a “Hello!”  Ok, maybe not those exact words, but they begin with that initial introduction to each other.  And when I say “relationships”, I mean more than just the romantic variety. ALL relationships: friendships, familial, romantic, acquaintance, professional … even enemy relationships.

The thing we need to remember is that all of those types of relationships are “built”.  They don’t happen overnight.  Some people just seem to click and those relationships grow strong more quickly than other relationships.  And those quickly growing relationships could be the ones that last a lifetime or they could be the ones that burn so bright that they burn out quickly too. But the thing is, all relationships still need to be built, and it takes time to actually get to know another person.  As people get to know more about each other is when they learn if they are compatible or not. 

I have heard that the thing that makes you smile about your significant other when you first start dating could become the thing that you hate the most about them later on.  That what was once cute and quirky ends up being so annoying that you want to just rip off that person’s face! (What?  Too intense? Ok, how about … it becomes the thing that makes you want to run away … FAST)

That cute laugh with the snort ends up making you think you’re living with a member of the swine persuasion.  The way they question the waiter about every item on the menu may seem like they are really in touch with what they put into their bodies in the beginning of a relationship.  But later on, you just want to scream at them to “F*ckin’ order something already!!!”  That guy who seems so dark and mysterious when you first meet him ends up just being that secretive, closed-off person that never really lets anyone truly know him.  Or that person who talks to the television show or the movie as if the actors can hear them … “Don’t open that door!!  See, I told you not to open that door!” … ok, that person is just super annoying right from the start!!

So, how long does it take to get to know someone?  I don’t think there is any specific timeline for that.  As a matter of fact, how many times has there been a news article about someone who does something really horrible, and the people closest to him or her will say “He really didn’t seem like the type to do this.” or “I never knew she was a homicidal maniac, who stored dead bodies in the basement.”  (ok, maybe we don’t hear that last one very often.  Thankfully!!)

But the point is still valid.  It takes time to get to know someone. And I don’t think we every truly get to know another individual completely. Heck, we don’t even know ourselves completely.  But, with time, we do get to know others better.

The beginning starts with the basics.  What do you do for work?  Where do you live?  Where did you grow up?  What do you do for fun?  (For those of you who are on the dating sites, these are the beginning questions you can ask.  Please don’t start off with questions about sex or how many kids someone wants to have!  At least wait until the 2^nd date for those kinds of questions.)

I spoke with someone at a party recently.  He was upset because he felt left out of conversations.  I tried to explain to him that it takes time to be “one of the gang”.  That the others there had known each other for a really long time, and had built up their friendships.  How at first we are all just circling any group of friends.  But if we are patient and understand that they need to get to know us and we need to get to know them, eventually we may be inside that circle.  Or, who knows, maybe we will learn that we don’t want to be part of that circle.  Unfortunately, my “words of wisdom” didn’t seem to help this individual, and he ended up leaving the party very upset.

So, after the basics of getting to know each other are out of the way, hopefully the conversations just flow naturally. You each will get to know more about the other, and more about yourself as well.  And if you spend enough time together, you will get to know whether that person will be more than just an acquaintance. The getting to know each other will determine what type of relationship you two will have. That is, until you find out about the bodies buried in the basement!

(for those who are now concerned about me … yes, I have a storage locker in the basement of my apartment building.  But I swear, I only have luggage and the Christmas tree and ornaments stored there!)

Drawing a blank!!

They say that all writers go through periods of writer’s block.  Where they can sit in front of their computer (or typewriter, for those who like the feeling of the nostalgic era of typewriters) and stare at the blank page in front of them. 

When someone is writing an article or a story that has a very specific topic or storyline, this can be a major problem.  Because these writers cannot just switch to something else to get those juices flowing.  They need to stick to the subject matter that they are working with.

For me, as a blogger, it’s a lot easier.  Because if one story line doesn’t seem to be flowing, I have the ability to switch to something else.  But, when I have 4 unfinished starts of blog posts, and none of them are “speaking to me” or they just seem so utterly boring as I read through them, it begins to be an issue.

I discussed this with a friend yesterday, and his suggestion was to just begin typing, in the way of stream of consciousness.  He said that eventually the words would start to point to one topic that I can go with, and then once done, I can just delete the beginning paragraphs that have nothing to do with the subject.

I tried this and this post is the result.  A blog post about having trouble writing a blog post!

I have some subjects and blog ideas that could become very good blogs.  And I do plan to eventually end up writing these posts. But for one reason or another, they aren’t getting down on paper well enough right now to post. Either my thoughts are still too jumbled on these subjects, or when I do put word to paper the resulting post is not up to the standard that I want to set for what you can read.

There are other topics that would possibly make good blog posts. Actually, they could be VERY interesting and VERY entertaining topics that are featuring prominently in my life right now. But I feel that some things are not meant to be shared.  Personal things that are making me excited, scared, frustrated and hopeful about, are definitely things I am more than willing to share with my close friends.  But these are not necessarily things I would share with the general public.

For now, this week’s post will be about how I had a lot of trouble writing a post for this week.  I will try to do better next week!  Hopefully the juices will start to flow better if I give it time.  In the meantime, if you have any ideas that you would like to see on this blog, definitely hit me up!  You can comment on this blog itself with a comment, or email me with any ideas (email address listed in my profile).

So let’s keep our fingers crossed for a better post next week, and my sincerest apologies for this week’s pathetic post!

Facial nightmare!!

I have somewhat sensitive skin.  I use facial wash meant for sensitive skin.  I also use moisturizer also that is meant for sensitive skin.  

This one time I decided to do a professional facial.  I had found a groupon or some other deal online and thought I’d give it a try.  Everyone always raves about how doing these can take years off your look.  How your skin will end up smooth and soft.

I called to make my appointment and spoke with the esthetician about my skin sensitivity.  She said that they have one form of facial peel that is very gentle.  I should have known better, because when you are peeling off a layer of your face, how gentle can that actually be??

Well …. As the saying goes … The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry!  And Oh My Goodness, did this go awry!!

Not only did my face become BRIGHT red, but it started to peel as if I had 3^rd degree burns.  I also ended up with a high fever from the experience.  It turned out that I was in bed, physically sick for days!  Thankfully I had planned the treatment for the first day of a break from work.

When all was said and done though, my face did look a lot smoother and younger.  But to go through all that, never again!!  I can’t fathom why I thought it was a good idea to ask someone, actually PAY them to rip off a layer of my skin!!

I have done at-home facial masks though.  The green clay that you put all over and let dry.  You look like a Martian, and can’t really eat, drink or even speak once it dries.  I’ve exfoliated.  I’ve even done those pseudo peel away masks, where the only thing peeling away is the filmy mask and maybe some oil from your face.  These are ok.  Actually removing a layer of skin … not so ok.

Fast forward to this past weekend.  I had a date with a guy that I had met a couple months ago.  A really good looking guy, who is also really nice.  Back then it just wasn’t good timing.  But now the timing was great.  Lucky me that he reached out to me again.  I was very excited.

So, the day of the date I looked in the mirror and thought that my skin looked a little “tired”.  I decided to try that new “pepto bismal” facial mask that’s all the rage in the beauty world.  I read up on it, and the only “negative” that I was reading was either that the person didn’t think it really did anything or that maybe their face was a little pink afterward, which was easily solved with a makeup remover cloth. 

So, off I went to the drug store to buy some pink stuff.

Once back home I painted it on, like I learned to do on YouTube and waited the requisite 20 minutes.  It smelled like that pink stuff smells, but that wasn’t too bad.  And as it was drying, my face did get stiff.  But nothing too bad. 

Twenty minutes later, I went back to the bathroom and washed it off.

My face wasn’t so much “pink” as it was very RED!  And extremely hot to the touch!  Here was my skin, my extra sensitive skin, being extra extra sensitive!!  OMG!!!  What was I going to do?? I had to be presentable … nay, not presentable, I needed to be HOT looking in 4 hours!!  And not “hot” in the way my face was bright red and burning hot!!

So I spent the next few hours alternating between cold compresses on my face, hydrocortisone cream and staring into the bathroom mirror to see how my face was doing.

THANKFULLY, the redness was completely gone within a few hours.  And, thanks to the Pepto facial, my skin was beautifully clear and smooth!  I looked refreshed!  And my date would never know that I was about to cancel on him just a couple hours before.  No way I would let this hottie see me in that state!

Next time I think to try something for my skin, someone please stop me!!!  Or at least remind me to do it when I don’t have a hot date planned within a few hours!!!

Winter is coming, and not just to Westeros

I love the fact that living in New York I get to experience the changes of the seasons.  I don’t know how I’d feel if I lived in a place like Florida, where the weather changes mainly have to do with how wet it gets, and not the temperature or what the surroundings look like from season to season.

My favorite time of year is spring, when everything is new and coming to life.  The days start to get longer.  Instead of waking up when it’s pitch black out, and heading home from work when it has already gotten dark, you get to see more sunlight.  I always look for the new buds coming out on the trees. I know that once I see that, the warmer weather won’t be far behind.  I get the biggest thrill when I spot the first crocus petals poking through the dirt!  It is a time of a fresh start for the earth.  And I feel that it is like that for people as well.

My second favorite season is fall.  The changing of the leaves, with all the variety of color is breathtaking.  The air becomes more crisp, and the humidity abates.  The brutal hot temperatures ease up, and you can actually keep the windows open and enjoy the fresh air, rather than living in a constant state of air conditioning.

I also like the clothing for the fall.  The layers and the earth tone colors.  I can start to wear my boots again, without feeling like my feet are on fire and I’m going to melt.

Today I spent the day out hiking the trails in a park near my house with a new friend.  We started out early, and it was still a little brisk.  So I had my warmer jacket and scarf to be fashionable and functional.  Even the dog had on her sweater at first.  But as we walked, the sun came out and it became a beautiful day!  We took lots of photos, having a photo shoot of sorts with my dog posing among the fallen leaves and dappled sunshine.  She’s so well behaved and really gave my friend a great subject matter for his photography.  It was a perfect fall day.  I guess if every day were like today, I may not mind not having a change of seasons.

I’m ok with the summertime too.  Yes, it can get too hot, and too humid.  But I don’t really mind it that much.  Except when I have to be on a subway platform.  I have no clue why, but for some reason it is always so much hotter and more humid down there.  You’d think that being underground, out of the beating sun that it would be cooler.  But, alas, it’s not.  But even with this, I still enjoy summer. 

Perhaps that’s because summer is still reminiscent of childhood memories of no school, playing in the backyard pool, and barbeques.  I also love that the daylight lasts so much longer.  I need sunshine to be happy (even though I will avoid standing directly in it).

The one season I really am not a fan of is the winter! I do like when it first snows. Especially if it snows at night.  Everything seems quieter. And it’s so pretty to see the pristine snow on the streets, the trees, the grass, and even on the cars. But in New York City that pristine snow doesn’t last very long. We end up left with an ugly, grey, icy or slushy mess for months and months!

I also can’t seem to get fully warmed up the entire winter.  I am not exaggerating when I say that I take a hot bath practically every day in the winter.  It’s the only way to get the cold out of my bones!  It doesn’t matter how layered I dress, the cold just seeps in.

And having to get bundled up in so many layers that you feel like the Michelin man is anything but fun. It’s exhausting having to put on a ton of layers, then to have to undo/unbutton/unzip/untie everything once you’re on the subway.  Then redo/rebutton/rezip/retie everything to head out from the subway, only to have to take everything off again when you reach your destination.  I’m exhausted just typing about it.

And for some reason, of which I also have no clue, spring, summer and fall all seem to fly by, where as winter seems to drag on for an eternity!

Anyway, winter is coming, like it or not. Nothing that can be done about it.  Except to enjoy perfect fall days like today until winter arrives!  Then, start counting the days until those crocus reappear!

My absolutely FAVORITE holiday!!

Halloween is my favorite holiday!  I mean, seriously, what’s better than combining cosplay and candy?  Two of my absolute favorite things! 

Most people think that Halloween is a Christian holiday, meant to usher in All Saints’ Day on November 1st with All Hallows’ Eve on October 31st. (All Hallows’ Eve was shortened to Halloween)  It was in the 8^th century that Pope Gregory III designated November 1^st as All Saints’ Day.  But actually this isn’t where Halloween got its start.

Halloween actually originated with an ancient Celtic festival called Samhain (pronounced sow-in) which is a festival marking the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter or the "darker half" of the year.  During this festival people believed that the dearly departed came back as ghosts, so they would light bonfires and leave food and wine on their doorsteps for these spirit visitors.  Ghosts were thought to revisit their old homes seeking hospitality.   People would also wear masks when they left their homes, in the hope that they would be mistaken as a fellow ghost, and would not be haunted.  There are also records that shows that as part of Samhain people would go from house to house in costume, either reciting songs or verses in exchange for food. This was known as “mumming” and “guising”.  Hmmm … mumming … is that like “mummy”?  Probably not.  But “guising” and “disguise” are definitely related words!

As immigrants (yes, Donald, immigrants) came to America, they brought with them their traditions, including the tradition of All Saints’ Day and All Hallows’ Eve.  But, by the early 1900s, the holiday became more of a secular tradition than a religious holiday.  And in the 1950, the holiday started to resemble the current traditions that are celebrated all over this country on October 31^st, with kids going house to house to “trick or treat”.

For adults, the “traditions” of this holiday are VERY different from going “trick or treating”.

For adults it’s a time dress up, drink and have a big ‘ol party!  Like adults actually need a holiday to do this?!

In New York, the Village Halloween Parade is a time-honored tradition.  Believe it or not, this parade is actually in its 42^nd year!  And it gets bigger and bigger every year!  Definitely a must-see at least once in your lifetime!  But if you plan to go, get there early. And I mean REALLY early.  Or you will be 6 people deep!

Halloween has become a day to parody the popular culture of the times.  Some costumes are very clever.  Like this couple costume of “Lego my Eggo”

Others seem to cross the line of funny (the new Kim Kardashian Paris robbery costume isn’t going over too well).  I am wondering how many Donald and Hillary costumes are going to be out there this year.  Probably sprinkled in with some Bernies.

I’m not sure when in history it also became a time for women to dress in the skimpiest of outfits and look as sexy or slutty as they possibly can.  I’m sure if I dug deeply enough on Google, I could find that out.  Or at least see lots of slutty Halloween costumes.  This one young … um, lady … seemed to be able to come up a costume that was both clever and slutty at the same time.  Kudos!

And yes, back in my younger days I had my fair share of those sexy type of costumes.  A belly dancer, a fallen angel, a fairy. This was me as “Little Red Riding Hood” a number of years back.

I cannot tell you how many times I heard some version of “Hey, I'm the Big Bad Wolf.” that night. *eyeroll*

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m older, or because I got sick of dealing with drunken horny guys, or because I realized that I could be soooo much more creative than just wearing a very tight, low cut/high cut (depending on whether we’re talking about tops of bottoms) outfit, maybe putting on some devil ears, or cat ears, or angel wings or whatever to make it look more costume-y and less prostitute-y.  But I decided to move away from the "let's see how slutty I can dress" type costumes, and moved on to the more creative, and definitely more comfortable costumes.

In the past few years I have been:

a Minion

Lots of fun, especially since I could sing the "Banana" song.  But rather warm in that fleece lined hoody!

a cracked porcelain doll

and a Monster from “Monsters, Inc.”

But this year, I’m going all out!!  

I am going to be honoring my all-time favorite television show and going as … a walker from The Walking Dead!  Sorry, I will not be revealing the costume in advance of the party that I’m going to be attending.  But it will definitely NOT be a sexy/slutty costume!

It’s going to be an AMAZING costume!!  I have been studying tutorials online and doing practice sessions with my special effect gashes in my skin.  My test runs have been coming out really good! I cannot wait to do the whole thing together, with the special effects makeup, the ratty hair, the dirty raggedy clothes and even the “undead” eyes!!  I've got to practice my walk, but I've got the growly grumble noise down!

Yes, the party is at a bar, where the treats will be of the alcoholic nature.  And I’ll have to take a subway to get there.  Oh what fun that will be!!  Can't wait to see the reactions!

My only concern is that some other TWD fan will get into character as well, and stab me in the head!

Being SMALL in a BIG city.

I’m what most people would call petite or tiny or small. I am barely 5 foot tall. Actually, I may be less than that, now that I’m getting older and people tend to shrink as they age.  By the time I’m 90, I’ll probably be somewhere around 4’7”. (ok, that’s an exaggeration … hopefully).

Being small has some advantages.  People let you go in front for photos.  Whether or not this is an advantage can depend on the day and how attractive you are feeling.  You can also easily fit in an airline seat, even as these become smaller and smaller.  And you don’t have to duck out of the way of low hanging branches of trees.

But the disadvantages are definitely much more plentiful and certainly outweigh in how annoying they are! 

Reaching things is the biggest and most obvious difficulty.  I have 2 step stools in my apartment, and I am frequently climbing up on them, or chairs, the coffee table or even up onto the counter in the kitchen.  And I’m not talking about just when I need to reach things on the top shelves.  Nope, I’m talking 2^nd shelf!  Ok, I can possibly reach things on the 2^nd shelf if they are towards the front of the shelf.  But pushed back into the cabinet just a bit and I’m having difficulty!

Turning off the smoke detector when my cooking sets it off or when the battery needs changing is always a complicated endeavor.  Especially if the battery decides it needs changing in the middle of the night!!

On the subway, I can’t really reach up above the people who are seated to hold onto that bar.  I can reach it, but just by my fingertips.  So I don’t have a good grip.  And people get annoyed at me if I refuse to move into the subway car more.  They just don’t understand that I need to hold onto an upright pole or lean on a door.  Even if I get my hand somewhat around that bar above the seated riders, because I’m completely stretched out and on tippy toe, by the time we have gone one or two stops, my fingers are tingling from lack of blood circulating!  And forget it if we end up stopping a little abruptly! 

When I had my bathroom renovated a few years back, I made sure that my contractor lowered the showerhead!  Before, I couldn’t really reach it to change the setting for when I needed that jet spray for getting the shampoo out.  I’d have to stand on the edge of the tub to reach it, which was not safe at all!  Now it’s a bit lower, so it’s great for me.  Sorry to any guests staying over at my place who are tall.  But if you’re tall, you probably deal with having to duck out of the way of things a lot anyway!  Opposite problems!

In the supermarket, I’m constantly having to ask people to get things off the higher shelves.  It’s annoying to have to go find someone, and it’s embarrassing too!  There have been times that I’ve said “Screw it” and did without that particular item.

There are other negatives to being small.  A really annoying one is that in a crowd, I’m at armpit level.  NOT pleasant, especially in the summer!!  Also, when you’re small and you find yourself in a crowd, it can get claustrophobic to not be able to see anything other than the chests and shoulders of those around you.

But, in addition to having these troubles, I have found that in a city like New York City, where everything is very fast paced, and people don’t have time or patience for things blocking their paths, being small is a HUGE disadvantage!!

I have noticed that when walking down the sidewalk, people will tend to head towards me when having to get through I crowd. I know that my being small makes you think I’d be easier to push aside.  The thing is … I’m used to, and actually expect, for this to happen.  So guess what, I don’t move aside so easily.  I’ve gotten very adept at “throwing my shoulder” into the person trying to push past me and nonchalantly making it look like an “oopsy”!  I’ve also learned, NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT!!!  For some reason, if I make eye contact, they seem to head towards me even more. 

So, if you are walking down the sidewalk, and you see a crowd of people coming in your direction that you will need to get through, don’t go assuming the little one will be the easiest to get by.  We may be tiny, but we can be tough too!!

This Cave Man Culture Must Stop!

Let me begin by saying that I know that my blog is usually one that is intended to be lighthearted and fun to read. The posts are simple observations about things that happen in my life that I can chuckle about. I am well aware that this post is a huge divergence from that norm, and yet, I am not going to be apologetic about that at all. This is definitely an observation of mine, although it is far from simple.  And this observance is much more important to discuss!

The recent revelation of an audio/video recording of Donald Trump and Billy Bush discussing women in vile sexual terms has set the news on fire.  It is the top discussion around the news desks, the work desks, Facebook, and yes, I’m sure, even in the locker room.

I was disgusted when I listened to that recording.  I was thrilled that it was discussed at the second debate, since in the past I have felt that the media has not called Donald Trump to task on the things he has said that are … well, just wrong!  I was smiling when I read that Billy Bush was suspended from the Today Show, although I don’t understand why they are just suspending him “pending a review”.  What’s to review? It’s on audio/video!

I was happy to learn that more Republican leaders and some supporters have denounced Trump after this recording became public.  Although I was extremely upset and depressed to learn that the majority his supporters are simply shrugging it off, saying that it was “only talk”.

In the days after the release of the audio I was walking around with a nagging feeling that I just couldn’t put my finger on.  I kept thinking that the statements that Donald Trump made, with Billy Bush’s encouragement, were probably not “just locker room talk”.  I am sure it wasn’t just “talk”, as there have already been women in the past (and I’m sure we’ll learn about more in the future) who have made claims of being sexually assaulted by Donald Trump.  I knew that Bill Clinton’s infidelities would be brought back to the spotlight, and Donald sure tried to do that, by bringing some of Bill’s accusers to the debate.

But the nagging feeling wasn’t about the fact that it wasn’t just “locker room banter”.  I couldn’t fully understand what this nagging feeling was, because it was more than just disgust at what was said.  It was more than just hope that people would FINALLY open their eyes to what a disgusting pig the Republican nominee for President really is, although I knew from past experience with his saying things that should have lost him the support of others, it didn’t have that effect.

Then this morning, it finally hit me why this has been nagging at me so badly.  It’s not that Donald Trump had said these things.  That was not really a surprise, coming from him.  It is the fact that he is trying to blow this off as “locker room talk”.  And what’s worse, that this type of “defense” is actually even allowed to be uttered!  THIS is what is more upsetting, what is more frightening.

Our country, one that is supposed to be a world leading country, far more advanced than a vast majority of the world, is still living in caveman times!!  When we allow this type of talk, when we brush it off as “locker room banter”, we are allowing for the women in this country to be treated like they were back in caveman times.  Bashed over the head and dragged into a cave.

It is talk like this that makes the men on the dating site that I am on to think that it is perfectly fine to ask me about my preferred sex positions or about parts of my body.  That they feel it is no big deal to ask me to send them nude photos of myself.  To start conversations by telling me that I’m “sexy”.  Believe me, my photos on my profile are NOT in any way “sexy” or provocative.

It is talk like this that makes woman who have been victims of sexual assault and rape be made into the villains in courtrooms for wearing suggestive clothing, or too much makeup, or being flirty, or even being at a particular party in the first place.  It has become our fault, as women, for being too desirable, that men just can’t control themselves. 

It is talk like this that makes people like Brock Turner think that it’s acceptable to rape an unconscious woman behind a dumpster.  It’s talk like this that makes people like Judge Aaron Persky to sentence Brock Turner to a six month sentence for his RAPE conviction, because, as the Judge put it, it would have a “severe impact” on the defendant’s life.  On the DEFENDANT’S life???  What about the impact on the life of the woman that was RAPED???

It is this male-oriented, cave man, locker room banter mentality that has made it acceptable for our so-called leaders to say things like those things said on the tape, and to have that brushed off, or distracted by pointing out that “all men say things like this, and worse”. 

It’s time for it to NOT BE ACCEPTABLE for “all men to say things like this”!!  It’s time for it to NOT BE ACCEPTABLE for women to have to excuse or accept this! Our society has allowed for men to objectify women, to treat them like objects, to RAPE women.  And it’s not just men who are to blame.  We women need to stand up, stand together and REFUSE to allow this to continue!

These are our mothers, our grandmothers, our sisters, our daughters!  We need to lift them up, not cut them down with words that belittle them, that objectify them!  We must hold EVERY person, male and female, accountable for what they say, how they act, and for the general attitude they are promoting.

We cannot accept the defense of “locker room banter”!  Accepting that means we are accepting that women are not equal!  Accepting that means accepting that women are somehow “less” in worth than a man.  Accepting that means accepting that women will continue to be sexually assaulted and raped.  Accepting that means that women are simply objects to be bashed over the head and dragged into a cave.

This country needs to teach its male population (from infant to centenarian) to treat ALL humans with respect and dignity!  And the female population needs to learn to stop allowing this to happen, stop accepting this pathetic excuse!

Let’s move out of the caves of our attitudes towards gender!!

My personal addiction

Ok, I have to admit to something.  I have an addiction.  I am addicted to food.  But not in the “eating it” sort of way.  Nope, I’m addicted to viewing food!  I am a food voyeur.  Please don’t take this to mean that I only LOOK at food and have an eating disorder.  That’s not the case at all.  I am healthy and I do eat! 

But, if you have a Facebook account, you definitely have seen photos that your friends have posted of the food they are eating, or about to eat.  It’s become sort of the “thing to do” when dining out.  Nobody can dig in until the appropriate number of photos have been taken and posted to Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and any other social networking site!  Lately I have been noticing videos of “recipes” showing up on Facebook.  They are usually set to music and show very quickly how to put the ingredients together and how the dishes turn out in the end.  They make it all look so easy!  And these all look … A …MAZING!!!

I find myself drooling over these posts! For the photos, I end up searching online for recipes.  And for the videos or the photos that have the recipes attached, I end up “sharing” these ... with myself … through direct messaging!!

I’ve created shopping lists to take to the supermarket for ones I want to try.  But I have to be honest, once I get home I am usually too tired or too hungry to spend the time to actually make the recipes.  So, I grab a quick and easy snack, put the ingredients in the fridge, and usually end up not attempting the recipe afterall.  I know, silly!

I have a bunch of recipe books.  Some that I bought throughout the years, some that were given to me as gifts and others that have been handed down to me from my Mom.  I also have one that I put together myself of recipes I found online, printed out and sorted according to whether they are appetizers, main dishes, sides or desserts. 

While waiting in the cashier line at a store, I am much more likely to reach out for the magazine that features recipes than the one that feature celebrities. I used to get one celebrity magazine delivered to my home, and I had to look up almost everyone in there to find out who they were!  But show me a brisket, flank steak or stew, and I will know just what cut of meat to buy!!

I watch various cooking shows.  NOT the one where that guy ends up yelling at the contestants, and they end up crying.  That’s not about cooking.  That’s about drama!  No thanks.  Not interested in that type of show.  No, the ones I watch are the ones where they take a regular recipe and try to make it healthier, or where they show you how to make things that you thought would be too difficult to take on, but they have a fun, easy way to do something similar.

Well, since I’ve been working from home lately, I’ve actually tried several of these recipes. 

Some have turned out pretty good!  The garlic parmesan potato stacks are AMAZING!!!  And so easy!  But because they are AMAZINGLY delicious I ended up eating the entire batch of them (meant for 4 servings) in one evening!  The quiche also turned out really good!  And it lasted for meals for a whole week for me. Which is good and bad, because I get bored with eating the same thing.  Next time, maybe I’ll try mini-quiches that I can freeze.

Others have turned out, well, not as good. The slow cooker stuffed peppers came out pretty good I guess, but they need more spices than the recipe called for.  But that’s a personal preference.  I’ve been putting lots of hot sauce on them as I eat them.  And next time I make them, I’ll add the necessary spicing to the recipe.

The mini apple tarts that look like roses seemed fantastic in the video, but they were NOT easy to make!!  The apple slices kept breaking, the pastry dough didn’t roll out easy, nor roll up easy once all the ingredients were laid out.  So they fell apart a bit.  But as for taste …. O..M..G!!!  Another one that was too tempting to each just one serving!!

It’s been fun experimenting and I have a whole bunch more to try out!  I am really enjoying being more than just a food voyeur!  But I know that once I go back to working full time, I’m going to go back to just having the time and patience to “view only”.  It will be somewhat sad to not be able to try out all these wonderful recipes I see online.  But at the same time, it’s going to be MUCH better for my waistline!!

Something I never thought I'd miss!

A month ago, I left my job.  I’m technically still “employed” and do some work for the company while I’m looking for my new full-time job.  But I do this from home. The only time I’ve gone to the office in the past month was to go have lunch with a friend. 

Working from home means a few things ….

I don’t have to set an alarm to get up at the crack of dawn to get myself and my kids with 4 legs and fur ready for the day.

I can stay in pajamas all day, if I want to.

I don’t have to put on makeup or even brush my hair, if I don’t want to.

But best of all ….

I DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THE SUBWAY!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I have been on the subway in the past month. But not at rush hour and I didn’t have to stand the entire way! I didn’t have to deal with people with their bad attitudes, bad hygiene and bad manners! 

No morning “preacher” wannabes.  No “Excuse me for disturbing you, but everything in my life and in the lives of everyone around me has gone to crap, so if you could spare a quarter …”  No pushing, or shoving from all sides.  No person who’s backpack keep knocking you in the back.  Nobody’s smelly armpit right next to my face (I’m short).  No guy who stands at the subway turnstile EVERY day in his suit and tie, with his briefcase, asking if anyone can give him a swipe.  Seriously?  You want me to pay for YOU to go to YOUR JOB, when I’m currently looking for MY OWN JOB?

Just a couple of evenings ago, I was taking the subway to go meet up with friends and I realized something.  Yes, I get all the advantages of not having to take the subway now, but I also end up missing out on a wonderful, strange, sometimes creepy, but always interesting world that is not like any other world out there.

I got on at my stop and immediately noticed the woman across from me was “boppin” to some tunes coming through her headphones.  Not sure what she was listening to, but it seemed to really be enjoyable, since she was swaying and shimmying and making all sorts of facial expressions.  I was tempted to go ask what she was listening to, but she didn’t look like she wanted to be disturbed.

At the next stop Jesus boarded the subway car!  Seriously, dude looked JUST like Jesus!!  Don’t believe me?  Well, here’s a picture I snuck of him. 

I blacked out his face since I didn’t really have permission to take or post his photo.  But, just look at him … he is TOTALLY Jesus!  I wonder what he was looking at on his phone?  Bible passages?  Current events of the world, so he could keep up with how much humans are messing up this world?  Or was he just playing Candy Crush?  (oh, and btw, the woman to his left is the “boppin’” woman)

When I looked to my right and down a bit, there was a guy who was definitely having some silent dialogue with someone.  He wasn’t mouthing the words he had going on in his head or moving around too much, but just the changes in his facial expression told me that he was really shocked by the response he got from his imaginary companion.  I wonder if he ever won that argument? 

A few stops later, a young girl came on the train. Very pretty young girl.  She looked like she was heading out for a fun night. But if she tugged at her skirt that could have passed for a belt one more time, I was going to scream “If you have to constantly adjust your clothes so that you don’t go showing you hoo-haa in public, then wear something that actually fits!!!” 

When I looked to my left, down towards the end, leaning against the door was Mr. Angry Dude!  Standing with his arms crossed, pushing up at his biceps to make them look bigger (yes, we all know that trick) with the look on his face that says “Just try it.  I dare you.”  When the door opened on his side, he wouldn’t even turn sideways to let people out or in.  They had to squeeze by, and he would give them the eye roll and the exasperated sigh.  I am not sure, but maybe he paid more than others to ride this train, and he thought he was entitled to a larger amount of the space on the train.  Honestly, if it were me leaving the car, I would have totally “accidentally” bumped into him with my bag.  But only if I were leaving the train.  I wouldn’t want to risk what he would do if I was staying on the train, being that he is Mr. Angry Dude!

There was also a young mother, sitting with a girl who had to be around 3 or 4 years old.  Cute kid.  Mom was playing some game on her phone, ignoring cute kid.  Cute kid kept saying “Ma” … “Ma” … “Ma” over and over. Finally “Ma” turned to cute kid and exasperatedly shouted “Whaaaaat?!”  Cute kid looked scared and just turned in her seat to sit quietly.  I couldn’t help myself.  I did my own eye roll and shook my head a bit at that “Ma”. 

And of course, there were the tourists.  The ones with their maps in hand, speaking in whatever foreign language is their native tongue.  Like, I don’t know, maybe they were speaking in Texan-ese or something. Looking from their map to the lighted sign that says what stops we will hit along the way.  Usually, I end up going up to these people and ask if I can help them figure out where they need to get off the train.  I mean, I wouldn’t want them to accidentally ask Mr. Angry Dude!  But, it was my stop, so I couldn’t help this time.  I hope they got to where they were going and didn’t spend their entire vacation in New York riding the subway trying to figure out which stop to get off.

One thing I realized though, by the time my 20 minute subway ride was over …

I ACTUALLY MISS RIDING THE SUBWAY!

But once I find a new job, have to wake up again at the crack of dawn and squeeze myself into a crowded subway car to ride standing up the entire way to work, I’m pretty sure I just may change my mind!