Technology --- Friend or Foe?!

The other day I got a text from a friend.  What he said in his text isn’t important.  The point I want to make is how easy it was for him to reach out to me to be in contact.  He had something that was he felt was important to talk with me about, so he quickly sent a text and just as quickly got an answer.  This happens every day, every hour, every minute, every second.  No, not on MY phone specifically, but on all our phones and computers and other electronic devices, collectively. 

If someone took a time machine to present day from the not-so-distant past, they would be shocked!  You see, I grew up in a time before cell phones.  Before computers.  A time when you had to be tethered to the phone that was either placed on a table or hung up on a wall by a cord.  And yes, we had cords that were long enough to walk around.  But then we had to deal with them getting all tangled.  I even grew up with the phones where you actually had to spin the dial to make the call! And all this wasn’t THAT long ago.  I’m older, but I’m not OLD.

Back then it was always a struggle as to who could be on the phone and for how long, because you had ONE phone line in the house for EVERYONE to use, and someone else was always waiting for a call or had to make a call.  I remember how exciting it was when I was in high school and got a phone number for me and my sister to share.  Now I only had to fight for time on the phone with just one other person.

And forget making a call during the day, if you happened to have someone to speak to in another area code!  Because you had to wait until after 9 p.m. when the rates went down. And even then you were told to keep the call short, because “Dad isn't working just to keep the phone company in business!”

If you had some really urgent news to tell someone, you had to either wait until you saw each other in person, or try to catch them when they happened to be home.  Because even answering machines didn’t become popular until the middle of the 1980s!  So, urgent as we see it nowadays was a lot different from when I was a kid.  Telling  your friend the blow-by-blow of a fight you had with your boyfriend was something that just had to wait until the next day in school!  And then you would sneak writing a note in class that you would pass to them in the hallway for them to read in their next class!

My sister, who is a teacher, catches her students on the phone all the time. They always wonder how she can tell. She is constantly explaining that nobody looks at their crotch and smiles/giggles for any other reason!  Well, hopefully they don’t.

And guess what, this was all better than when my parents were growing up, and had a “party line” that they shared with several neighbor families.  You’d pick up the phone to make a call, and there’d be your neighbor Alice talking to her sister Blanche about the latest goings on in the old neighborhood.  Talk about frustrating!

One thing that was good about back when I was a kid … lives were more private.  Things weren’t posted on the internet (by ourselves, I might add) that filled EVERYONE in on EVERY little thing happening in our lives, from the big stuff like getting engaged/married, a new job and having kids to the small thing, like what you ate at your last meal, what movie you are about to see, or that person that annoyed you on the subway.

As technology has developed, we have been able to advance to a time where people can be in touch … instantly!  And constantly!  And for any reason, whatsoever!

But it’s gotten to the point where people are so addicted to being “in the know” at all times, that they are missing out on what is happening right in front of them.  How many times have you been out to eat and the first thing you do is take your phone out of your pocket or bag and put it in front of you on the table?  Have you ever stopped to count the number of times during one meal you check your phone to see if any new message has come in or if there is anything new on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or Snapchat? Try counting sometime.  Or have a friend count for you, since you probably aren't even conscious that you are doing this.

A few months back I was out for lunch by myself.  I was sitting waiting for my meal, and instead of surfing Facebook, like any normal person would do, I decided to people-watch. There was a couple sitting at the table near me.  I watched as he spent the entire meal either texting/emailing or on the phone talking to someone.  Yes, he was having a conversation, but not with his girlfriend, who was sitting right across from him.  But, his girlfriend didn’t seem to mind, as she spent the entire meal on her phone as well.  Meanwhile, I spent the meal watching the two of them and thinking how sad a scene I was witnessing.  How is that a relationship?  Is every meal like that?  Why even bother to meet up for the meal if you aren’t going to spend any of the time actually being together, actually talking to each other?

And these two aren’t unique.  This is how it is out there, this is the norm!  So, here’s my proposal to you!  You didn’t think I’d propose so quickly after meeting you, did ya? ;-) The next meal you go out to with friends or family, make an agreement that for that ONE meal, nobody will pull out their phones.  You will only engage in conversations that are IRL and with the people who are actually there!  Then let me know if you were able to accomplish this.  Restore my faith in the human race!

If you can get through this one meal doing this, try to do this for at least one meal, at least once a week.  If you can get through that, then maybe we can get back to mealtimes the way they used to be, where we spent that time catching up with each other.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t want to go back to how it had been when I was a kid.  I do appreciate being able to have access information and those who I want to be in contact with whenever I feel like it.  But I also do miss the old days when things were more intimate, when we spent real time with each other, enjoying each other’s company and catching up. That has gone by the wayside with the development of modern technology. But with some minor changes, we can get back to that and closer to each other as a result!